~ At last.. ~

At last, i drop my tears. At last, i let my heart out. I've cried to sleep. All this while, i thought i'm strong enough, to manage everything myself. But, i'm wrong. I thought i'm tough, but actually i'm so weak, very weak. I kept everything to myself. All the problems, all the sadness, i kept it deep inside myself, seldom did i portray it. All this while, i wear a smile on my face, to cover all the sadness inside me.

Listen to songs in my lappie. Every songs remind me of you. Every songs have a story behind. Every songs are my favourite. You know me best of what songs i like.

But now, it seems like you are so far away. Every now and then, these songs accompanied me throughout the restless nights, whenever when i'm overloaded with stress.

How can I go on alone?

::kuanru:: signing off

~ how i wish to go home ~

Sis sms-ed me just now. She asked me when is my holiday and when will I be going back. It's been really hectic for me nowadays. T______T

Especially during this industrial training, which sometimes i think it's over my limit. I think i need a break. I'm really tired. No doubt i do enjoy myself really very much this few months, and i guess it's really hard for me to say goodbye when time comes.

It's not the workload that makes me tired, but i'm really tired of waking up so early in the morning, waiting for the transport, rushing to get the earliest bus, afraid that i might be late, and rushing back from work in case the skies get dark. I came out from home before sunrise, and came home after sunset. It's been a long time since the last time i experience sun at PJ.

Sometimes, as i'm counting the days, how i wish i were at home. I never felt so homesick before. I'm craving for mummy's cooking. I miss my bed. I miss everything at home. I want to go home.. At home i can lay on the bed whole day watching series and dramas, walking here and there without doing anything useful, chit-chating with mummy and having hi-tea at some shops. I'm tired lor..i really am..how? when i reached my workplace, i don't feel tired because i can start talking to ease my sleepiness. However, when i reached home, i was like half alive, i don't feel my legs belong to me anymore. My supervisors trested me very good, they offer me to sleep at the centre, but..but..there's always a BUT..i don't think it's a good idea, which i don't know why!!

and FYI, it's mid year sales now, whoever interested to go shopping with me? anyone???

::kuanru:: signing off

~ it's good to be home ~

Have been leaving home for quite some days. I felt that it's really comfortable to sleep on a bed where i used to. Although the place that they provided is really good, with air-cond, attached bathroom in every room, heater shower, but, i don't why, these few days i can't even sleep well. Anyway, here I am. :)

Although it's been a really hectic week last week, but indeed i'm enjoying myself to the fullest. I've been going to this place and that, meeting this people and that people, it's really a very good experience. THANKS!!

::kuanru:: signing off *more updates*

~Thanks for E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.~

I've met alot of people. Different types of people. Each of them i believe wears a mask to hide their hideous self, to get acceptance from others. I can't deny that, most of the time, i do wear masks. Infront of different people i wore different mask to portray myself. Sometimes, i get tired and i even wondered, who am i actually. Is this what i want? Why should i hide myself from them? Why should i be afraid of them? I have what they have, i might have more than they do. People influence people. Thats what the world is all about. I've learnt a lesson that never trust someone so easily. The one that you trust the most hurts you most deeply. Some people might twist the fact infront of you and infront of others, if you all get what i mean..

Anyway, there's this someone i would like to thank. I really appreciate him for coming into my life. Tho' there're lots of misunderstanding every now and then, lots of tears, sadness and dissapointments, but when i look back, it's just a minor problem and shouldn't fuss about it. I even felt that i'm so childish for behaving as such. He had been so, so patient to me.

Infront of him, i'm me. just me.
Infront of him, i don't have to wear on the mask.
Infront of him, i can talk about everything. Everything that i want to.
He knows me very well. I heart him. Really..

Will miss you.. ~ Thank you for being such a darling!! ~

::kuanru:: signing off *i heart jay*

~I need IMPROVEMENT~

Have been out of idea on what to blog about. I'm now squeezing my brain juice for some interesting topic to write about. People might be wondering, nothing happen in your life? You lead an un-special life, don't you? Aiya, i really don't know what to write about, but i don't want to leave my blog inactive. Tell me how?

Life as an intern should have lots of interesting stuff happening, because most of the time i'm spending outside my house. But..but...i don't know..nothing much happen i guess. Oh ya, i've to rant about the public transport AGAIN!!!

This time it's isn't about the lrt, but about the bus. You know how long i've waited for the bus the other day? And FYI, it's Rapid KL!! How rapid would it be? I've waited for more than one hour!! My dear friends, it's more than ONE HOUR!!! T__T!! I would have done lots of things during that period of time. I've waited for the bus from 4pm till 5pm something. The bus was suppose to be there in every half an hour. I'm standing under the hot sun, STANDING ok? not even a proper bus stand for me to sit and wait for the stupid bus. And i'm rushing for an appointment. And in the end, guess what, I'm late for the appointment. I'm super pissed off. It's ok if I'm not rushing for an appointment, but i've planned my schedule according to the time they stated there. Ish ish ish...

Conclusion: Malaysia's public transport SHOULD SHOULD SHOULD be IMPROVE!!! If the price of petrol is going to increase, at least make the public transport to be convenient to the people. Everything should be improve!! EVERYTHING!!

::kuanru:: signing off

~Melacca..~

Have been back from Melacca this morning. Although it's really tired but everything worth it afterall. Thanks to Mr. Jay who treat me as a princess during the trip.

I realised that it's been nearly 4 to 5 months since the last time i step on the land of history. I miss this place so much!! Although nothing much had changed, but i really love the place.

During the stay, we've been to the eye of Melacca if is that call?? i don't know. Because we're just there for 15 minutes. But the eye is not as big as the eye of Malaysia. The riverview is very nice. Perfect for couples. There's this Malaysia Barcelona feel along the river.

Nice yumcha session with the guys..

Pictures will be upload later..:)

Till then..

::kuanru:: signing off

~Listen by Beyonce~

Have been listening to this song again and again. Beyonce, a very familiar name. First impression for her, hot and sexy.. First impression for this song, nice, nice and nice, with powerful voice.

I don't know why, this song is rilly, rilly, rilly nice. I'm addicted to it. Well, the lyrics doesn't impress me much, but her voice..Fuhyuh..and damn when i search for more pictures to be put on this post, i realized this girl is really really sweeeeeeeeeeeeet...OMG, i'm in love with her right now, right away!!

I can't describe it with words now. Listen to it, and you'll know what i'm talking about.

Some part of her looks like J Lo, some part of her looks like Mariah Carey, and I don't care who she looks like, she's just so sweet. :)

::kuanru:: signing off *listen by beyonce*