+ + Suitcase ♥F Memories + +

prayers for my folks.

2011-01-22T13:37:00.003+08:00

I can't help myself. my tears start streaming down again whenever I think about this.

they have been wonderful. always. they taught us to be kind, they taught us to be loving and caring, to forgive, they, always gave us the best, seriously, the best. They have been thoughtful, not only to us, but to others. They taught us to be kind to those who weren't kind to us. To love our enemy.

We are what we are today, because of them.

I regretted being rude when i was young. Thinking back, i slap myself hard. They never let us down. They tried to fulfill our needs. I still remember my dad staying up late just to help me finish up my homework, while i'm sleeping soundly. I remembered my mum rushing back and forth from work just to send me for tuition, without complaining of tiredness.

They are the kindest human being on earth. They never fight back. They love peace.

Dear God, you see it, don't you? You know it, don't you? But why? Seriously, i don't get it.

Karma? We were good, don't we?

Why do we need to go through this? Why do they need to go through this? It isn't that fair, right?

Dear God, we are trying to accept it. We really are. If this is Your will. Please be with us throughout and guide our steps. Please help my dad, he's going through a tough time, please give my mum strength to carry on. Please lead us, protect us. Thank you.

::kuanru:: signing off

Belated New Year Post

2011-01-04T19:21:00.005+08:00

I've totally forgotten about a new year post for this year.

This year, nope, should be last year, 2010, ends rather awkwardly. Unlike how i used to celebrate new year, with fireworks at least, but 2010 ends, i would say, uniquely from previous years, from how i used to celebrate. But, being with the 1095 'cabin crew' is more than enough for me.

They are just so sweet.. : )

Usually we kinda review what we've done throughout the year. I'd like to make a record for myself too. Let's see:

1. I've started postgraduate program. If you ask me how it goes, well, my answer will be: feels like giving up, but still, hanging there/ better don't ask.

2. Got my first weekend job, which makes me feel time flies, rather than sitting there, listening to the ticking of the clock. At least, i manage to support myself, while, studying. (haha, say that i'm haolian, i don't care, otherwise some people will think that i further my study so that i can be lazy for a few years). = ="

3. -None- How empty.....

I told my mum, 'I gain nutin this year' on the last day of 2010. Pathetic.... If you ask me any 'resolution' this year, i have NONE. Again, pathetic...

But...

I still hope that 2011 is a better year, a lot more better...

Happy new year!!! Cheers...

::kuanru:: signing off

Two Way Street

2010-12-14T17:58:00.004+08:00

Relationship is a two way street. You don't expect people always, and everytime, be there, when you shouted their name three times, either loud or in your heart. You don't expect them to appear infront of you, response to your call, sms-es, or worst still, msn, QQ, Facebook chat, whatever, immediately when you 'needed' them the most.

At the same time, when you're having good times, do you think about these people whom you wanted them to be infront of you immediately when you're in trouble? Do you think of them when you're on cloud 9? Do you ever call their names three times, either loud or in your heart when you're having great time?

I'm not just talking about love relationship here, it can be friendship, it can be family relationship, whatever it is, as long as you call that a relationship, it should be TWO-WAY. You give, and they give back. You don't expect others to give, and you're just keeping without giving back.

Understanding is a two way street. As far as relationship is concern, both ends have to work hard for it, instead of JUST be the receiving end.

::kuanru:: signing off.

2010-12-06T11:06:00.002+08:00

I can't believe one day i've to go through DABDA situation. I really don't. Not this time. I pray to God, i keep them in my prayers, every prayers, but...

If it's God's will, please tell me what He wants us to do. If it's a karma, please tell me what i've done wrong.

Never had been so tough in my life. Or He wants me to grow up? He wants me to think matured-ly. Going through this is really not easy. The road infront is not easy anymore. Not anymore.

I just hope that, it don't get worst...this is my last bargain to God. I accept your will, but i hope you can guide me through it. I still believe that you close the door, somewhere, you open the window.

::kuangu:: signing off

Excuses....Nah...

2010-11-25T14:44:00.003+08:00

I'm tired of people giving excuses all the time. They give reasons for their fault. The fault only they're clear of what it is.

For instance, the one faced when doing group assignment,
A: Which part do you wanna do?
B: Anything. You pick for me, and i'll do.
A: Then you do XXX then.
B: XXX? I don't know how to do

WTF! Ask you to choose you don't want to choose. When assigned, you said you don't know. Familiar?

Example #2:
A: Why you get lesser projects nowadays?
B: (the reason can bemany) Because the other girl is prettier/ Because I have no time for more projects

See? Instead of, maybe she did better than me, the fingers are pointing out.

Example #3:
A: Why you didn't practice this week?
B: I've got a lot of homework/ My mummy didn't ask me to practice/ I've got exam.

Great. Excuses were given even during young age.

Why can't people just face the fact, and stop giving excuses? If you didn't get what you want, ask yourself if you've tried hard enough, instead of giving excuses for your own mistake, true?

Stop giving me excuses so that to make you think that you'rer still an angel. I doubt...

::kuanru:: signing off

secrets...

2010-09-17T10:55:00.003+08:00

so many things in me that i really feel like pouring it out. i need someone to talk to.

lots of them would say, 'you can tell me everything', but, i doubt. I doubt whether they're sincere enough to listen to me? or are they sincere enough to help me? because i can't find empathy or genuineness in them.

i knew of someone whom i can really talk to, whom i can rely on, but this secret is about that someone that i couldn't talk to. Because it hurts.

i don't even know how to confess to my dear diary, i don't know where to start.

i guess, the only one i can talk to is my secret bear, lying beside me, be there with me through laughter and tears... : ) he knows everything, and i mean, everything.

::kuanru:: signing off

More cards...

2010-09-16T11:35:00.006+08:00

i remember i did a blog post about membership cards before, i think last year. That was when I first sign up for mph membership card, followed by Isetan membership card. Alright, now my wallet has no more holders to hold anymore cards. There are still some member cards coming in after that. Full of cards, but not credit cards.

Yet, yesterday, i still sign up for the Watsons membership card.

Why?

First impression...
Does this looks exclusive? No? WATSONS PASSPORT

But it does looks exclusive to me. It comes with these welcome pack.

and.....

a stack of vouchers...

See?

Of course, plus all the benefits like...

2x points on Watsons brands
5x points for birthday rewards (i'm late, i sign it up one day after my birthday, shit)
Watsons exclusive promo and events

But all in all, i just love the card. : )

I think, collecting membership cards will be my hobby for the rest of my life, as how i collect phone cards when i was young. : )

::kuanru:: signing off

2010-08-24T23:34:00.002+08:00

After being a teacher myself, trying to give my very best to my students, but they're not appreciating it, *not all, but some*, it's really disappointing. Being a teacher, is not just simply go to class, take out a book, read a few lines, and end of it, but it's our responsibility to make them understand, to make them learn as much as possible.

I'm putting in my patience, but i don't see them putting in their efforts. It's rather frustrating see them not improving, let me see some improvement, even a little bit of improvement will make me happy.

They're blessed with two hands, two legs, 10 beautiful fingers, really beautiful fingers, more beautiful than mine, seriously, my friends know what my fingers condition like, blessed with a piano, some with grand piano, blessed with good family condition, blessed with the opportunity to learn, blessed with everything..

But, too bad, they don't appreciate it. Perhaps, i should put more patience. But, some of them really give me those 'i'm-better-than-you' look.

I really feels like letting them watch this video, to see how people really live their life to the fullest...

Not only to my students, even to me as a reminder, all those people out there, keep complaining about life...He, as a disabled, never give up on himself. Never say tired. Going forward..

::kuanru:: signing off.

my head...

2010-08-23T15:48:00.002+08:00

I'm listening to Kiss The Rain again, yes again. i've always love soft sentimental ones.

It's been almost half year past, what have i done for my thesis? Looking at the calender on my study table, i've not following timetables. I've NEVER follow timetables. I hate it. I'm so far left behind. I've nothing in my head. I can't see clearly what's in front of me.

Will i be able to do this?

FYP seems easy after looking at this thesis. I used to crack my head when thinking about FYP, but looking back, it's really....

I've started the first step, i've really no turning back. Lots of things have no turning back.

We're always tied up by datelines, don't we?

::kuanru:: signing off

Tappity Tapper

2010-07-28T13:03:00.006+08:00

Nothing to do?

Busy with thesis like me?

Note to Heaty: You can play this game when you're feeling so stressful that you feel like killing everyone around you : )

Feel lazy for awhile...

Try playing:

Tappity Tapper
a game bought to you by Cadbury

You'll enter a very chocolatey world.

Of course, you've to register yourself in order to play, because you'll stand a chance to win Wii, Ipod Shuffle, or Movie Vouchers.

Wondering what the game looks like?

By looking at this, guess all the smart-you knows how to play, and what is the game like, right?

All you just need to do is stay in sync with the tune!! As easy as that. This reminds me of O2 jam back in those days.

Got to keep practicing my Tappity Tapper, to get my name on the Hall of Frame.

Good luck guys : )

::kuanru:: signing off

how do you do?

2010-07-27T11:19:00.003+08:00

Have you ever experience, when someone ask 'how are you', you'll feel your hair stands?

my conclusion after i've experienced it for many times (*note: many times) is:

when they ask 'how are you', means that they might be expecting you to answer 'no good. i fall down in a drain, broke my arm, spilled my brainjuice, broke up with my bf because i can't think and walk anymore...',

and,

when they answer 'sorry to hear that, how are you now? be strong, i'm always there for you, bla bla bla...' or stuff like that, they are actually feeling happy inside.

but, if you answer 'i'm good, how about you'

you'll never see or hear any reply from them again.

agree?

so, for you, who actually wants me to fall in a drain, and never see sunshine again, i'd like to tell you, I'M GOOOOOOOD.........NEVER HAS BEEN THIS GOOD BEFORE...

::kuanru:: signing off

2010-07-22T18:58:00.006+08:00

One day, i was walking past a pet shop. I stare at the window. There's a little voice in my head started to sing,

" How much is that doggy in the window
The one with the waggley tail
How much is the doggy in the window
I do hope that doggie's for sale"

I love pet shops. Everytime i stick my nose on the glass pane, looking at the little golden retriever, my all time fav dog, i know i'm gonna have it one day.

i can't have it now. It's too pricey, too high maintenance. Too big!!

So, instead, i plan to have a hamster.

Exactly like this one.

They were so cute. Right that night. I phone 'Heaty'. She asked me, 'are you committed to it?' She always used these serious word to scare me off. Well, true enough, i don't know how to answer. If I were committed, how committed am I?

Sometimes, I was surprise at how people easily decide what pet to own, what pet to buy, there and then. It's like buying clothes at pasar malam.

Then I saw the two green fella. I think, this will be easier to be taken care of. Low maintenance. But again, commitment issue strike me again. Heaty punya pasal

** A note to Heaty, because of the word 'committed', i drop my pet plan**

p/s: I've always missed Heaty...^^

::kuanru:: signing off.

used to be

2010-07-18T00:00:00.004+08:00

i used to wait for your phone call every night, holding my w800i in my hand, waiting for your name to appear on my caller id...

i used to look through our pictures taken together, again and again, thinking of what we've gone through together...

we used to sms each other, concerning about each other, sharing our tears and laughter, frustration and anger, dreams and hopes...

we used to buy each other presents, writing each other 'love letters'...

we used to do a lot of stuff together, searching for hidden delicious food, movies, shopping, even walking in a park...

everything used to be so sweet,

but now, we have become strangers...

we used to be 'we',

but now, it's just you and I...

i can't turn back the time, i can only look forward, collecting pieces of my memory, with every step of me moving forward...re-building stories in my life...

i never regret that it happens...whatever it is...

::kuanru:: signing off

2010-07-13T12:55:00.003+08:00

And...

World Cup 2010 fever is over. Spain won.

My first expectation, was Brazil vs Argentina. But surprisingly, both lost.

Second expectation, was Holland vs German in the finale. Again. Dissapointment.

In the final, i bet Spain will win the final. For the first time, i win.

I guess i can't be Paul the Octopus. I bet that octopus will never thought that he can be so famous. Everyone is talking about him. All over the internet, my fb news feed, google, yahoo home page, newspaper, mamak kopitiam...even in the toilet.

Four years later, it will be in Brazil. Will the octopus still be alive? Or another living being will come out with another prediction? Maybe the animals communicate well, with the universe. : )

Wavin' Flag has been everywhere. I mean really everwhere. I even know how to sing it now, of course not the African language part. Still can't get it tho'

I enjoy watching 12 men, nope, it's 24 men, running across the field, a very big field, for a ball, especially with a big bunch of unknown people. I guess, i'll never watch english premier league again after this world cup. England player is not as good as i thought.

Nyway, back to the old life again. No more checking the scores every morning i wakeup. No more mamak for balls late at night. I'm having triple and quarduple layer of swimming floats around my waist. Time for me to get back to my normal life. : )

Adios...

::kuanru:: signing off

2010-07-06T22:47:00.002+08:00

is there ever a selfless good deed? you do something good, but hope for nothing in return? Nah, i don't think so. You do something good, so that you feel happy. You do something good, so that people will treat you nice. You do something good, so that...when there's a so that, it's not selfless good deed.

take for instance, more and more charity organizations popping out. Are they really doing charity just for the sake of doing charity? Or there's something fishy going on? Can't deny that, there are, some organizations that are really doing charity, a really non profit organization. 100% charity. But how many are there?

Another thing, many companies donating millions and millions of dollars to the charity organization, held up press conference, saying that we've donate a few millions to so and so. This, indeed is a good deed, in other people's eyes, but are they really doing it for other's good? without the presence of media, will they still doing that? I doubt.

Anyhow, i'll not see them the same way again.

::kuanru:: signing off

P-I-A-N-O

2010-06-01T18:47:00.004+08:00

piano have been my besties ever since i don't know when. she has accompanied me through most of my life, 80% of my life, i would say.

although, in the middle, i don't really like her, but as time past, i know i can't live without music, i can't live without piano. i believe there's a bond between me and her.

she will not betray, she knows what i'm thinking, and amazingly, i feel great talking to her.

i'm happy that i manage to found a piano here although it's not her. i miss her...

i never regret learning piano. i appreciate everything i go through throughout the learning process. harsh words coming out when it's getting harder.

i appreciate and very thankful for my parents sending me for piano lesson since i was 4 or 5, listening to my complain, but still, never fails, they encourage me to go for every lessons.

and now, i'm passing my knowledge to the next generation. looking at the little ones, make me think of what i gone through when i was young.

at times, i see them giving up, i don't feel good. i guess this is how my parents feel when i try to give up, or when any of us trying to give up.

loving piano, loving the notes each day.

a nice one to be shared with. this song makes me remind of her, my dear petrof..

::kuanru:: signing off

2010-05-31T00:43:00.003+08:00

i once heard about a saying, 'friends are meant to use and to be used on one another'.

i never thought that it was true, and i fought against this saying. because at that point of time, i truly believe that, friends around me are sincere.

not until this few months, or lately this year or two, i came to realize, how fake some can really turn out to be.

*note: i said, some, not all, because some people will think that i might be talking about them, who knows, aite? I still believe there are some sincere ones*

i hate to say this, at some point, i do agree with that saying, after what i've came across.

one moment, they are oh-so-good to you, or you're-my-besties-forever and oh-so-darlings-and-sweeties-brothers-sisters, and at the second moment, they turn their back on you, not even a haloo or how are you, it's because, they don't know how to 'use' you anymore. How pathetic...

or...

they are having a better life than you are? Maybe...

chasing their materialistic life..who knows?

therefore, belated remorse, belated remorse, belated remorse...

::kuanru:: signing off

smile

2010-05-19T15:08:00.003+08:00

"a smile is a curve that sets everything straight"

Have been feeling moody about the same person for quite sometimes, and I realized I really should have let go. Environment do change a person. From unmaterialistic one to a materialistic one.

I smile to myself, and said, "IT'S NO SO BIG A DEAL"

Smile, my friend, better world is in front of you. She's just one in a million, so, why care?

: ) So, just smile.

::kuanru:: signing off

2010-05-13T02:17:00.002+08:00

being cheated doesn't feels good.

being cheated by someone you trusted the most even more unbearable.

a very short shout out here,

"Being cheated for the first time is called simple and pure, being cheated for the second time is called stupid"

and you, my friend, my last advice for you, open your eyes wide of who you're with,
dunch eu come to me crying around.

once you cheated me, forever i'll remember.

kthxbye.

::kuanru:: signing off

2010-05-08T19:58:00.002+08:00

i don't know why i feel so uptight today. have been heavily homesick since early in the morning.

maybe it's because of mother's day.

it's been years ever since we celebrate mother's day together.

ever since i came to study in this busy city...
ever since my mei mei started with her bachelor years...
ever since my didi went to boarding school...

we hardly celebrate any celebration anymore, we hardly gather together anymore, except for Chinese New Year, that's the only time everyone of us are home, together.

we used to celebrate every celebration, from big to small, from birthdays to labor days, to weekends...but now...

how i wish to celebrate papa's birthday, mummy's birthday, parent's days, each fo the little monkeys birthdays, like always...i just wish that i'm home.

sometimes, i just don't understand why some people, staying with the family, but still complaining about it, complaining about the family, about the parents, about the siblings...i'm jealous of those who are able to go back during the weekends, who are able to meet with their parents whenever they want to...

but, i just can't.

i treasure every minute with them.

<3 papamummypengpenghonghong.

**mummy, happy mother's day! i love you! and you're the most wonderful woman in the world. it's true, don't believe? ask peng peng and hong hong, and you can also ask papa. HUGS**

::kuanru:: signing off

2010-05-04T20:09:00.002+08:00

Hola!

I'm back from shopping paradise.

Took zillion of pictures...and i'm loving it.

First time been to an island, the feeling is so great, especially with the bf.

The breeze, the view, the beach, the stars, the sand....everything! And, the shopping part was fun.

Leaving everything behind in the busy city, off we set to the island.

Thanks for the bf for preparing everything for the trip, he was more excited than me. :)

I feel loved!!

Although this may be the last trip, as we will be busy printing more moolah for the next big thing (not sure what is it tho'), but i'll still looking forward towards it!

i <3 you! ^^

xoxo, kuanru

2010-04-26T22:12:00.002+08:00

being home is just oh so paradise~

burried under loads of dramas...

loads of novels...

leaving everything that makes me grow white hair behind...

although i'm missing the little ones still, but, i miss my princess house more...will be back to them when i'm back from my holidays!!

i just heart home, and don't feels like leaving again.

but...

there'll be another trip soon. It might be the last trip of the year.

::kuanru:: signing off

2010-04-13T14:01:00.003+08:00

a short hola from me...since my connection is short term lately, i mean it lasted the most for 1 hour. 'They' will never do a good job, as always.

A quickie of what i've had in mind for these few days:

to set up some foundations of what i want in mind (includes, iphone foundation, prada wallet foundation, laptop foundation, future foundation, and my london trip foundation is still going well)
with unstable income, those foundation may have some trouble
still working hard on thesis, as always, until a point that i want to give up.
and....i'm going back in a few days time... : )

got to go...so many things to say, but i've got to rush my work while the connection is slightly good.

miss ya guys...

::kuanru:: signing off

dreamt about death...again

2010-04-09T23:47:00.003+08:00

never had thought about interpreting dreams before, although have once been very curious, especially ever since i know who sigmund freud is, but, it's just surface....until, recently, i kept dreaming about death quite often...or not to say often, but a few months back, and the most recent one is last 2 days. Until now, it's still very clear in my head.

I don't know her, i never seen her before, she looks like snow white, only that she's wearing white, instead of black and blue and red, with a really large hat, that is the main cause of her death (hat too heavy, she can't balance her own body), FYI, she fall down from a building, which looks similar to SMCH, and her eyes open. A monk, which i don't know where he comes from, help her to close up her eyes.

Until know, my heart is still feeling uneasy, whenever this dream suddenly creep up my head. I try to put it aside, try not to think about it. But, it still somehow, came out to my consciousness, and with a very clear picture. I hope it's just a nightmare...i hope there's nothing to interpret...

and...

i...

is...

homesick!!

Aw....4 years away from home, still homesick strike. is this normal?

::kuanru:: signing off...

pissed off

2010-03-16T20:24:00.002+08:00

i'm so pissed off with my life now.
i'm so pissed off of finding a thesis title.
i'm so pissed off of reading endless journals but still got nothing in my head

i don't know why i've chosen to continue study, since study have been so hard for me throughout my whole entire study life.

thesis, thesis, thesis...

i dreamt about thesis, i dreamt about me reading journals, waking up-journals, eating-journals, printing journals....i think my printer is fed up of printing journals.

i just feel like giving up.

help!!!

::kuanru:: signing off

cry on my shoulder

2010-02-01T14:00:00.001+08:00

A quick sharing, and i 'll be gone...

This is a nice one. :) Enjoy...

::kuanru:: signing off

you've changed...

2010-01-30T08:01:00.002+08:00

you've changed to someone i doesn't even know anymore.

who are you?

you seems so alien to me, i hardly know you.

since when, you become so materialistic, self-centered, blindly following the trend, taking everything for granted, life revolving only within branded stuffs, cars, houses, credit cards, selfish, thinking only for own good....

i don't recognize who you are anymore.

friends aren't in your list anymore, or should i say, friends that are not useful to you are not in your list anymore.

how i wish to delete you from my list. someone selfish like you doesn't even deserve to have a friend. I've regretted, to have someone like you

one day, you're so oh-i-love-you, but the other day, you don't even bother....

i know what i should do now...thank you for letting me know who you are, know what's the true you.

bye bye, and good luck!

::kuanru:: signing off

2010-01-18T13:39:00.002+08:00

getting you off my mind is still a very hard thing to do.

seeing you having your great time doesn't makes me feel a tiny bit better

i want you to be sorry for walking out of my life.

new resolution added perhaps: To completely let you go?

will i be successful? Stay tune.

::kuanru::signing off

bah...get lost

2010-01-17T23:27:00.002+08:00

Thank you, for showing me once again, the true you.

when i started to trust in you again, you, turn me down. AGAIN!!

Stupid me, to accept you again in my life.

I should had know that, the theory is this easy : People just want to get what they want from you, and when they've got it, they'll turn their back on you, anytime, without you even notice it.

Why do you come back? I've almost deleted 90% of you in my memory, and then, you came back, and now, you're gone.

Ok, ok, once again, from the start, i've to delete you from my memory again, bit by bit, crunch by crunch

Please, get away from me.... I really don't need you, i don't need your concern, because it sounded fake.

Bah~~ just G.E.T. L.O.S.T.

thank you.

busy

2010-01-11T14:08:00.004+08:00

task #n, checked. What's next?

Looking at my table calender, it has been quite hectic since 1st of jan, 2010, and will be for the rest of the year i think.

feels like going home when i'm too busy to can't even breath properly, or forgot to breath because of very-pack- schedule that have to be met every now and then.

Back to:

keeping track on thesis, which i don't like thesis, with all the reliability and literature reviews, means that i've to stay in the library finding all the literature, again,
keeping track of my accounts so that i'm not running out of money, and have a stable 'income',
keeping track of student's progress. Find it quite relaxing to see how naive these kids are, and one of the 4-years-old and 6-years-old brother and sister were actually singing Tick Tock to me, without music, and Bad Romance, and some other clubbing songs which I don't even know, FYI, they're not kiddy songs... What the, kids don't sing twinkle twinkle little stars anymore, don't they? They're still a bunch of lovable kids tho'

First post on 2010, feels like changing blog skin, i still haven't figure out how to change the background color with the same layout, will figure out after i've finish all my work in hand.

So many pending novels, magazines and dramas...

I want to go home~~

::kuanru:: signing off

2009-12-21T00:06:00.003+08:00

2009 is coming to an end. I welcome 2010 with open arms. Good things are on their way...

Lessons in 2009:

Lesson learnt #1: They don't come to you for no reasons. Very well learnt. Indeed. You HAVE to be for them when they need you, when they need someone to talk to, with their sympathetic hint, either vocal, eye contact, body language, etc, blah.. But, after their problem solved, you're no where in their mind. No where. I'm not problem solver, i'm not problem collector, and FYI, i've my problems too.

Lesson learnt #2: The person you trusted the most might not be someone that's really trustable. I'm not talking about the bf, if you're guessing whether it's him or not, no, he's still the only one there for me when i needed someone the most. When i'm happy, sad, feels emo, desperate, mood swings, feels like nagging, scolding... he's still there, making up jokes, giving me full of encouragement, with me all along~~ *hearts* I'm talking about someone else.

Lesson learnt #3: BFF? Still...

Lesson learnt #4: Never treat a person so whole heartedly. Being betrayed doesn't feels good in anyway, remember? Especially by your once-knew-best-friend. Duh~ I've learnt that, they'll not treat you as how you treat them, so...

Lesson learnt #5: Be on your own feet. Never be too dependable. Be a grown up. Think and act like one. Nobody's gonna make any decision for your future. It's rediculous~

Tired of listing. I've learnt a lot of things, and it's gonna be a whole new me. I don't have to wait till 2010, i'm transforming into a new me. :) For those who thought they knew me, I'm telling you now, i'm not the 'me' you know anymore, so don't take anything for granted, i don't care who you are anymore. *shoo*

::kuanru:: signing off

2009-12-08T23:03:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

you have my words

2009-12-04T20:48:00.003+08:00

too many things happened, helpless, hopeless, until i came to a point thinking that i can trust no one in this world, besides my family.

one day, out of my stupidity, i asked the bf, 'should i trust you'.

he, looked into my teary eyes, and said 'you have my word, every word i've said'.

still, he knows me the best, always, he knew what's going on with me, what i'm going through, and he's the ONLY one, supporting and giving me backups throughout the hiccups. *it rhymes, backups, hiccups*

i'm not going to showoff about him, but still, giving up the past, leaving the sad memory behind, not even taking the good ones from the past, might not seems so bad after all. Being betrayed doesn't feel good in anyway, tho'.

The beginning of new life, the beginning of meeting new people, and i'm starting to love it.

::kuanru:: signing off

the collapse of walls of trust

2009-12-02T12:03:00.003+08:00

We WERE once great friends, but now, nothing is the same.
There's something between, that's when i started asking myself 'ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?'
I don't know whether it's my sudden realization, or that i'm blinded when I thought we are the greatest friends.
At one point, you were with me, but sometimes, you seem disappeared, which makes me think that, it's just because of your own good.
I gave you my heart, but you just kick it away.
For you, my friend, i've suffered to fight for this friendship.
And because of you, I've learn my lesson well, open wide my eyes, and see clearly who you are.
I'll save my tears, because you don't deserve it.
Don't ask me why, don't ask me how, ask yourself...

I was once a fool, but now, not anymore

::kuanru:: signing off

2009-11-30T15:45:00.003+08:00

today, i came to realize, people, really aren't as sincere as how they look.

i've tried to deny the fact that, it's just me, thinking too much.

but no, when they ask 'how are you doing', inside them, they actually are hoping you're not doing good.

and, you, my friend, i'm going to tell you that, i'm doing great. i regret for treating you good. really.because, you're fake enough.

i'm so going to meet new people. i'm going to have my own life.

and, don't ask me how are you lately, i'm not going to tell you a single bit about me. i've giving you too much.

::kuanru:: signing off

this is how Malaysia going towards corruption free country?

2009-11-23T10:20:00.003+08:00

Story between me, the bf, and the police.

Apparently, being a good citizen as I am, was not involved. And, I was so surprised at how Malaysia police ask for duit kopi. I heard a lot, and it's quite famous already actually, but I never know how.

This happened yesterday, as I was out with the bf to his workplace to get some things done. Well, we were just 5 minutes drive away from the petrol station, so, the bf save the trouble to fasten the seat belt. Oklah, his fault, for being a lazy bum. The police has the right to stop him.

But, surprisingly, this actually is how the police ask for a cup of tea.

Policeman : You tak nak belanja i ke?

The bf : Macam mana belanja? Kerja buruh saja. (Luckily the bf is driving a lousy car, so it's believable).

Wah~~ Rupa-rupanya beginilah polis Malaysia cari side income.

=="::kuanru:: signing off

people won't come to you for no reason

2009-11-19T21:26:00.003+08:00

emo. emo. emo.

it's hard to accept the fact that, people don't come to you for no reason.

Fact #1
one day, received a call from a long lost friend. very happy. she's good. asking about life planning. until she came to a point, to talk about insurance.

Fact #2
i'm not a problem collector. i need someone to talk to, too. but i can't seems to find any. he is the only one understand me too well, but he's not 24-7 available. they said, how can u release if u kept everything inside? but the problem is, who should i spill out to?

Fact #3
people, how many are there who're trust-able? or is there any? of course beside the close ones.

so lame, so tired of guessing what people are thinking.

sienz ++"

xoxo, kuanru

i'm impressed

2009-11-16T02:14:00.002+08:00

i'm impressed with my brother,
see his blog <click>,
i'm impressed with my sister,
see her face, no lah, her blog <click>,

and see my blog... BORED!!!

they are 2 geniuses... and I'M IMPRESSED!!!!!!!!

i'm so happy to have the both of them.

luv u guys till death!! muax...

xoxo, ru (hughug)

i'm just so blah...

2009-10-31T12:10:00.003+08:00

I don't feel like putting words into sentence, sentences into paragraph. so...

* i don't know who to turn to when i feel like talking to someone, besides the bf.

* i believe that when they've trouble they'll come all the way to you, crying and crying, but after problem solved, bye-bye, can't see even a hallo or how are you, or even a shadow.

* what is there to show off if you have a bf/gf, or whether you're bi/homo/hetero? I don't get it, this seems like happening around these few years. ==" what is the point of talking out loud what you and your honey did yesterday? super sweat ==" Announce in the newspaper then.

* feels good to get compliments. who doesn't, right? i even dreamt about it. thanks to my bosses. :D

* well, my favorite quote for the week, "if you still don't get what you want or what you dream for, ask yourself whether you've work hard for it". I came out with this because i see a lot of people complaining why they still not get what they want, but i see they've put in no effort. ==" and the worst thing is, they don't realize it. super =="

* two face people. need i say more?

-the end-

::kuanru:: signing off

a question that i seriously wanting to know the truth

2009-10-29T20:49:00.003+08:00

Dear ladies and gentlemen,

Please help me to answer this..

It's a very long story, please be patient:

I've been looking for part time job, which have all, or at least one from the criteria i've mentioned in the previous post <click>. One day I saw this ad posted on a website which I can't remember.

Wah, work from home! My favorite working spot, no need travel here and there, waiting for lame public transport. Some more monthly income RM1000-RM4000. Not bad.

So, I emailed the job poster and asked for more details about the job and the nature of the company. Of course, we've to know what job and company we're applying, right?

The first reply I received from them doesn't mentioned anything about their company or the job offered, they only asked whether I'm looking for a full time or part time. I asked again about the job and company. Again, they didn't answer my question, they only told me that their job scope is customer support and servicing.

Ok lah, at least I know what job I'm applying for, but to what company, is still a question mark. Until the third email, at least something, they replied me saying that they are from an International Company.

My first reaction is, "walao@, nia de, international company no name one ah?!? so mysterious for what? After 3 emails still not yet reveal." Then they ask me to attend an interview at this Raja Chulan (which is alien to me, i don't know where it is, at this Wisma Lim Foo Yong), some more 1:45 sharp.

Out of my curiosity, I asked them which company should I look for when I'm there (FYI, I'm serious for this job, but there are so many question marks in my head). And still, in their reply, they DID NOT mention anything about the company, and told me to call them when I reached there.

Walao@, who will attend a so-call-interview without knowing anything about the company? Weird. I decided to turn down their interview and email them and said I'm not going to turn up at the interview because i don't know anything about the company.

They replied:

"No problem, we're only looking for serious people to work with. If you're serious, then be there on Saturday or else do not reply anymore. Just to let you know, our company is an international company. It has been in the industry for 29 years and have branches in 70 countries"

Nia de, even the last reply still did not mention their company name, only mentioned they've 29 years of history and it's over 70 countries.

Thanks to google, i typed this into the search box:

International Company - 29 years - 70 countries

and click "pages from Malaysia"

And the result that i get:

Nia de, Herbalife, need to be so mysterious or not. Not that I don't know about this company. =="

So, ladies and gentlemen, my question is, no offends:

IS THIS HOW MLM RECRUIT PEOPLE? AND WHY IS IT SO?
OR IS THIS HOW AN INTERNATIONAL COMPANY RECRUIT PEOPLE?
OR HOW A COMPANY RECRUIT PEOPLE?

-the end-

I appreciate and welcome every comment. Domo arigato gozaimatsu!!!

::kuanru:: signing off

my very depressing story

2009-10-29T15:06:00.002+08:00

i failed to cook a bowl of maggi. What happened yesterday was, my bowl of maggi is so tasteless, although i've put in the whole packet of MSG. Whole packet. The soup was so pale. Obviously, i've put too much of water.

Failure.

And in the end, i've to throw the whole bowl away, because i can't even swallow it. I'm such a failed cook.

But I managed to cook a very delicious omelette.

Blah....i've nothing to say anymore. I've a boring life ><

::kuanru:: signing off

this is why i'm gaining my weight...

2009-10-26T21:09:00.003+08:00

by the bf...

this is seriously yummy... I swear...

See how many prawns and squids in it?
And the greens?

Home cooked food, my all time favorite. I'm kinda worried of my hair loss day by day. The volume of my hair stuck in the toilet scares me. :X That's why i'm going for Ajinomoto-less food nowadays.

:D if everynight, i had my tummy full like tonight, i'll surely become a pig, no doubts.

::kuanru:: signing off

complete shit

2009-10-26T14:24:00.003+08:00

I WONDER WHY PEOPLE ARE SO SELFISH?

THEYWANTED,ORBETTERCALLEDDEMANDEDUSTOLISTENTOTHEM, BUTTHEYTURNTHEIRBACKWHENTHEYDOESN'TWANTUSTOLISTENANYMORE. I WONDER,WHAT THEYWANTUSTODO?

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

BETTER DON'T MIND OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS

a small reminder for MYSELF

2009-10-20T17:21:00.006+08:00

sometimes, we've to learn to let go
sometimes, we've to learn to be proud and selfish
sometimes, things that you think that are right to do might turn out the other way round.

what life is, without ups and downs, without a little hiccups?
we grew up from there, don't we?
we might be on the right track, we might not be,
but,
at least, we've tried.

people back off,
they are afraid to leave their comfort zone,
they are used to being spoon fed
they are used to being pampered
and the worst thing is,
they are not aware of it.
and I,
might be one of them, who knows?

i belief,
everyone is special in their own way.
why do i have to stand on the same spot,
watching people turning their backs on me,
and all i can do is grieving over it?
life goes on.
you might be someone to them at this moment, you might not be the very next.
there's no need to make a big fuss over it.

and now i realized,
i've to do what's good for me
and for THOSE who really cares about me
and i'm going to limit the size of my circle of trust
trusting those who doesn't worth my trust really makes me an idiot.

*P/S: I'M NOT REFLECTING ANYONE HERE. SO, IF YOU FELT HURT ABOUT THIS POST, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO THINK IT OVER YOURSELF.

::kuanru:: signing off

a must watch clips

2009-10-16T19:34:00.002+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen...

I'm going to introduce you this cute aunty. I actually googled and youtubed her. I can't stop myself laughing. :D

*p/s: You've to be able to know and understand Hokkien to understand this clip. *

I promise, this will make your day wonderful.

This is the aunty that I mentioned. So cute.

I'm loving Penang Hokkien slang. I con't care, I'm going to Penang next trip, to visit this aunty at Jalan Selamat, and try her Bakhu (Meatfloss)

::kuanru:: signing off

happy birthday to you~

2009-10-15T21:13:00.001+08:00

i would like to wish my dearest mummy HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

too bad that i'm not home for her birthday, but she'll have all my wishes and blessings.

may her stay pretty FOREVER, and free from the 'evils'. :D

Love you much!!

hugz and kisses

Love,
::kuanru:: signing off

and then i realize...

2009-10-13T21:31:00.002+08:00

how lucky am I...

Yes... Don't show off, right?

Ok, soli...

But, i'm too happy... what to do?

*******

Have been to Genting again. I know. I'm a great supporter of Genting. Lalala... A little bit of luck from the bf, and the trip is free. :D

And then, off we headed north to Ipoh. And realized, a lot of hidden goodies. Well, I've tried Nga Choy Gai (Bean sprout chicken) with my family before, so, it's not a must for me.

So, we tried the so-called famous DimSum at Ming Court. Heard that it has been on TV before, so I guess it's good, and then I saw Ah Xian's picture and Ho Chiak!'s logo, and the full house although it's a weekday, that make me double confirm that it must be really damn good.

Very satisfied with the food. If not because I'm not very hungry at that time, I may have order everything they have. But too bad, I went there with tummy filled. I'm so going to go there again, with an empty stomach next time.

Price wise, it's not that expensive, compared to KL. And the food is fresh...nom nom nom...

I'm too busy eating that's why I've forgotten to take photos. Anyway, no pictures taken for the whole trip. Other wise, I may have show you how good the food is, and how fresh the prawns are.

And also have tried the legendary Ipoh White Coffee. It's really yummy... or i should describe it as soft. It's a little bit different from Old Town, I don't know why. But it smells better. And the price is very cheap.

One thing good about Ipoh is, the food is good and the price is cheap. But it's an old town i guess, because I saw a lot of old buildings, make me think of my hometown.

A few caves visited on our way back, fascinated with the creation of nature, and the cave is so cooling. The weather is so hot, which makes me reluctant to leave the cave. Wanted to take some photos, but my dear w800 are taking low quality pictures nowadays that makes me really fed-up sometimes.

So, I've decided to save for a Sony camera. :)

*******

And now, I think I have sunburn on my lips.

Which is why,

I'm putting cucumber on my lips. It's so cooling.

*******

The end of my haolian post. :D Laoniang is happy, what to do. Sorry for the haolian. :)

Chaoz...

::kuanru:: signing off

apology for the last post

2009-10-09T00:14:00.002+08:00

Ahh...re-read my last post makes myself feel so childish. SO SORRY!!! That's the consequences of being too free.

What's that with the title 'Stupid Selfish People'. I wonder what makes me come out with that idea. True enough that selfish people are god damn ass stupid and annoying, but my last post... =="

Being so free today makes me think of many real silly stuffs. That's why I hate to be so free. Just one day, and i'm going crazy.

Being busy is always so much better than having nothing to do. Lalala... slap me if you want to, people... :D I prefer classes, classes and more classes, or works, works and more works, or traveling, traveling and more traveling. *tight self slap*

I know, when these days come, I would ask for otherwise. See? People never seems to satisfy, right?

Anyway, going to get myself busy again.

Looking forward for weekend. Can't wait...

::kuanru:: signing off

stupid selfish people

2009-10-08T12:28:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, we have to learn to be selfish.

Who knows whether they are genuine or not?
Who knows whether they are treating you the way you're treating them?
Who knows what's in their mind, right?

I have to learn to be selfish. People doesn't care about you, so why you bother anyway?

No one will appreciate, even the one that you think they will... turns out to disappoint you the most.

So, it's better to keep everything to yourself rather than spilling it to the one you think you trusted the most.

Sometimes, when you think that speaking out is the only way to release everything inside, you turn to them thinking that they will be there for you whenever you need them, bla bla bla... but in the end, what they do is to avoid you, leaving you in the cold. So bad isn't it?

But.....

What if they have trouble and turns to you for your help? Will you help? After the nasty stuff they've done to you?

I don't know...

Argh....

Stupid selfish people, whom i'm going to learn to be one.

::kuanru:: signing off

something to share with

2009-10-06T20:21:00.003+08:00

This is a really touching one.

My parents, too, have been holding us tightly, lead us and guide us. We're a child in their eyes no matter how old we are. They never fail to let go, protect us, giving us the very best.

And I say, it's time to let go, and have fun yourself... :D

With love,
us.

::kuanru:: signing off

2009-10-06T02:41:00.004+08:00

Hola.. 2:45am, i'm just awake.

A tired day, and I can't feels my leg yet.

Anyway, not to mention it again and again, but seriously, rapid kl bus sucks. I've waited for the bus AGAIN for like an hour. and FYI, it's suppose to be one day ticket for the past three years (means we paid once, and we get to use the transport for the rest for the day), and now, we have to pay the fare everytime we get on the bus. But I don't see any improvements. Why ahh???

But kudos to rapidkl lrt, I seems to like it more and more, and it seems to improve. :D Lurve.

*******

Anyway, I've a lot of things that I wanted to do. Again, I'm a procrastinate-or, remember?
1. Take up violin courses
2. Study. Taking up more short courses since I'm still available.
3. Stock up novels.
4. Would like to change the blog skin but i sucks at HTMLs.

*******

Mummy's bday is near. What should I do this year... hmm...

Looking forward for trip to Genting, again. People are going Taiwan, I'm going Genting. Not bad too... :D
And I need money, lots of them....

End of post.. Lalala

::kuanru:: signing off

brand new me

2009-10-04T00:19:00.006+08:00

I'm hypnotizing myself not to look back. NEVER!!!

and i did it!!

Things are getting better. A lot better. And I'm really happy with it.
I've finally put down a big bundle of unnecessary burden, which is suppose to be off my shoulder thousands of years ago. And i felt a lot lightened up.

At times, I still reminisced the time we had. Who can forget that so easily, right? After all 5 years is not really a short period of time. But the sour ones always shaken me up, and realize that i should have done it a lot earlier.

Well, if he's going to the right, I'm going to the left. There's nothing called back to normal friend. That's it. If he's just a friend, he'll be a sweet buddy (but for now, i don't think he'll ever be a sweet buddy again).

I'm so glad of what I've had now. Putting down the past and move on. I've to admit that it's hard. But, I've learn my lesson very well.

'Don't cry in love. Because for those you cry for are not worth crying over, and those who love you will never let you cry!' I truly believe it.

Well, it's a shame that I've took such a long time to finally put everything behind. *boo me if you want to, I'm in a good mood nyway, hee* And I'm glad that I've always had someone going along with me all the way.

A brand new me.

::kuanru:: signing off

2009-10-02T23:17:00.002+08:00

This post is supposed to be another angry post, since I'm NOT a lovable person. But I don't want my blog becomes a world of hatred, so, I'll just keep that to myself.

Here's an interesting post to share. It's from one of my friend's blog <click>. Reluctant to change. Thought it's a good one to share. Very matured thinking and bright girl I would say.

*******

I've nothing to post actually, if it's not angry post. Haiz.. How ugly my heart is, you see.

So, I'll just get back to my series. Gossip Girls season two. Ok. I watched season two without watching season one. And now, I'm trying to catch up a little of what had happened in season one. Ok. Laugh all you can.

It's a nice one. But still, i prefer F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and they're going to film a movie. Yay.. Hope it will not blow off. Looking forward to it.

So, after Gossip Girls, there's another series waiting - SECRET DIARY of a call girl. Let's put hk drama aside. :X

chaoz...

A boring one.

::kuanru:: signing off

Why oh Why

2009-09-30T21:43:00.005+08:00

Below are some angry post. You know what to do, just click on the X button at the edge of the window if you can't accept it.

The fakers, the boast-ers (as for people who are boastful, and i mean, alot), the show-off-ers, the prouds and arrogants, the back stab-ers. Argh..even naming them makes me mad. Why are these people so mean? Why? Why? Why? I SUPER hate, when i use the word super, it means, it's about to reach my limit, and i can't guarantee how long can i be that patient.

I don't care. To those who are so irritating, please don't come bugging me asking me those fake questions which i feels like throwing up and running away. When i turn my head away in front of you, please don't call my name, PLEASE. I turn my head away is because i don't feels like talking to you or even seeing our face or hearing your voice. I even wanted to puke seeing you smiling at me. I don't want. Please. Take back everything you gave me. Please... It's evil. It's wicked. Leave me alone. Please.

And please stop being a 2-faced person. It irritates me. Very much. You're so god damn evil. MCHCB....

A question to proposed: Why do God creates this world with disaster, that kills many? With illness and sadness? Why must it have the evil ones? And why are the evil ones are monopolying the good ones? (Hopfully my question is not offencing, I'm just asking this question out of my curiosity. Looking for an answer) Thank you.

::kuanru:: signing off.

The Tag

2009-09-20T09:10:00.003+08:00

Got tagged by high school buddy, tok, or now better known as Raymond. Was quite lazy at first ,but since today have nothing to do, and i'm awake at this hour, can't get back to sleep cause of the breakfast just now, so, here I am, sitting here, doing this tag.
*was wondering why is this thing called tag*

Here goes... The Tag

Rules:
1. Link the person who tags you.
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Share the ABCs of you.
4. Tag 4 people at the end of your post by linking to your blogs.
5. Let the 4 tagged people know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6. Do not tag the same person repeatedly but try to tag different people, so that there is a big network of bloggers doing this tag

A - Available/Single?
Not single but available..haha...no lah...

B - Best friend?
Have to see what does best friend means to you. For me, I'm friend-less. Haha...no lah...

C - Cake/Pie?
Pie. Chicken pie is the best.

D - Drink of Choice?
Teh ais. And I dreamt drinking dozen tins of Carlsberg with a friend of mine who'll be going to Singapore soon. Sobs *why is everyone leaving?* And that Carlsberg taste real nice. :)

E - Essential item you use everyday?
Should I say my getting-weaker- and -weaker-w800 and my horrible-looking-asus?

F - Favorite color?
Purple

G - Gummy bears/Worms?
Of course Gummy Bears. Who on earth like worms?

H - Hometown?
Kelate. Yes, I'm a kampung girl.

I - Indulgence?
Yummy food, Novels, Movies.

J - January/February?
I don't know. Why not September?

K - Kids & their names.
Haven't think about that.

L - Life is incomplete without...
Before, i'll fill in this blank with 'you'. But now, i'll fill in the blank with 'love' and ' family', i guess.

M - Marriage date?
Erm... not for now.

N - Number of Siblings
1 sister and 1 brother.

O - Oranges/Apples?
Would prefer apples, but orange juice would be perfect

P - Phobias/Fears?
Space, huhu, i'm afraid of lift. No lah...i would say, height.

Q - Quote for today
Home sweet home.

R - Reason to smile?
Can't think of any, because i'm starting to feel sleepy. I guess, what my love ones had done for me. Or, because i feel that I'm loved. :)

S - Season?
If we've 4 seasons here, i'll choose Autumn. But since there's only monsoon and otherwise ( I can't think of the opposite of monsoon, i failed my Geo, i know), i'll choose monsoon. A season to hibernate.

T - Tag 4 people?
Whoever four who've read this and feels like doing it can just do it. :) It would be fun, I promise. :)

U - Unknown fact about me?
I don't know. There's no unknown fact about me, and there's no fact about me that cannot be known. I'm a girl without secrets *unless it's about somebody else* Hehe...

V - Vegetables you don't like?
I love vegetables

W - Worst habit
Lazy

X - Xrays you've had.
I don't remember any. I don't think i've done X-rays before, did I?

Y - Your favorite food
A lot. Or you can put it this way, there's no food that I don't like, besides those uneatable ones.

Z - Zodiac sign?
Virgo

The End.

I answered every questions seriously. I'm so good. And well, I don't follow rules, Rules are made to be broken. Yes?

::kuanru:: signing off

September 14th

2009-09-15T23:07:00.005+08:00

It was supposed to be my birthday, but I spent September 14th, whole day, 24 hours, literally, earning for a living. And it certainly doesn’t feels good for not celebrating my birthday as how it should be.

Staring at my laptop working since birthday eve, with greetings coming in, without able to reply as:
1. my phone was turned on silent
2. phone credit running low
3. lazy to reach for my w800
(so sorry peeps)
was not at all great.

Anyway, having dinner at Yuen (again!) was fantastic, as that was my first and my last meal on that day (again, on MY BIRTHDAY!!). YUMYUMYUMYUM…

I grabbed everything (I mean EVERYTHING) that looks expensive, and I don’t care of the way I eat, I don’t care about table manner, I don’t care whether I use hands or legs, I DON’T CARE, as long as I’m stuffed with food.

What’s a birthday without cakes? Said the bf. So, two slices of cheese cakes from Secret Recipes, New York Cheese Cake and Hazelnut Cheese Cake. Wants more, but moi now is on diet.

*******

Gum pain bids me goodbye last 2 days, and I’m so freaking happy. I admit, I’ve lost some kgs for the past 3 weeks because of that stupid pain, and now it’s gone, I guess, the kgs are coming back to me. Why can’t I not have both? T.T

*******

Well, during work, have bought some movies to ease my bored. But due to limited time, it lays there, waving at me when I was working damn hard on my work. And I’m seriously going to watch them all. TONIGHT!!! No la, maybe one movie each day...
1. G.I.A. (starring Angelina Jolie)
2. Management (starring Jennifer Aniston)
3. Orphanage ( I guess this is the one that’s newly released in the cinema few weeks ago)
4. Some outdated and newest TVB dramas.

*******

Before I end this post, I found a new application on facebook. And it's quite amazingly amazing. See? the FORTUNE TELLER GENIUS!!

In case you can't see it, the first question that i ask this genius is,

'What will I be five years later?'
The Answer: Maybe, but be careful.

So, i perhaps, the answer for what will i be is maybe? ohh, i don't get it. but my friend said that it only answers closed ended questions.

So, I ask this question to him

Are You Real?
The Answer: Don't think about it, it's a yes!

What the hell? Does it computerized all the popular question or what? *sweat*

Well, a happy belated birthday to me.

::kuanru:: signing off

2009-09-11T02:55:00.002+08:00

i hate it when all my good intention is not being appreciated.

but, what can i do?

i've done my best.

i've give you what you ask for.

or, may i say,

what you wish for,

but you doesn't seems to satisfy.

and now,

you're asking for more.

i'm tired.

perhaps,

i shouldn't treat you that good.

LETMEBEALONE!

*if you're wondering if i'm talking about the bf, well, you're wrong*

::kuanru:: signing off *pissed*

Phone Calls from Home

2009-09-10T19:24:00.004+08:00

Have been having gum pain for, as long as I can remember, 3 weeks.

Mom have been calling to ask me see a doctor, afraid there's infection. But, i procrastinate, from day to day, and now, it's 3 weeks. Happy 3 weeks, gum-pain!! Well, people who procrastinate is procrastinator? :)

Yesterday, granny called. She seldom phoned, maybe because she don't have my phone number. How I wish she phoned me everyday :D. I was so surprise when I saw my phone screen showing 'GRANNY's HOUSE'.

And here, my granny, asked me to see a doctor. Calling my cousin to bring me to the clinic (I wonder how many times has she called my cousin). Afraid that I've not enough money. She said, I better go see doctor now, and she'll phone again later to check again if I've see a doctor.

Although she loves to nag, like my mum, but, inside me, i know they're worried sick about me. For me, they have the most kind heart on earth. But, people who are kind, always get bullied. This is an awful truth.

* 2006 Christmas: ah ma and pa*

I want to go home.

After buka puasa, off to the clinic. Well, it really is an infection. Two giant antibiotics, and a pain killer. Never seen such a GIGANTIC pills in my life.

* Pills. Taken from my w800 which is getting weaker each day :( *

*****

I found: LAKSA KELANTAN!! my fave!! I'm satisfied with my dinner, only RM2.50. How am i going to live without curry, kaojam, budu, laksa, ulam...???

I can't live, if living is without you..

::kuanru:: signing off

Wings Cafe

2009-09-07T23:31:00.007+08:00

Discovered another branch of Wings Cafe at Kuchai Lama yesterday. Music cafe have been my all-time favorite spot. Visited a lot of music cafes back then at Melacca.

Anyway, i was so excited when i knew there are a number of music cafes around Kuchai Lama area. After long negotiation with the bf, here we are.

It's quite different from the one at Melacca. To compare, i would prefer the one at Melacca, because it was located at the seaside. Imagine KL, where to find a beach?

With my w800's limited ability, these are what i managed to get.

The environment was just OK.

Not much choices of food.

Price wise, i'm not sure whether it's reasonable or not. Well, a pot of flower tea like that cost about RM10. What say you?

Singers are not really good.

The only thing is, the services. I would give 3 out of 5 stars for that.

All in all, it was just OK.

I'm going to explore more of the cafes here.

-The End-

::kuanru:: signing off

P.S. I Love You

2009-09-04T01:52:00.008+08:00

Finally, I've watched P.S. I Love You. Yay!!

I’ve read the novels like months ago (click), and wanted to watch the movie, but it seems like I can’t find my kaki.

I would say novel is better than the movie. It was quite a touching story, but not as quite touching as i thought, my tears were rolling INSIDE my eyes, but they have no chance to drop. If you ask me whether I'd want to watch it again, well, I might say no. Novel is really a better one. The story is similar, but not all the same.

I don’t like the actor and actress of the movie, I don’t know why, at some point, Hilary Swank is beautiful and Gerard Butler is charming, but, i don't seems to like them that much.

Anyway, Lisa Kudrow is in there. I can’t get the Phoebe (FRIENDS) character out of Denise (P.S. I LOVE YOU). She’s so Phoebe in that movie, or she’s just so Lisa Kudrow? I don’t know.

Storyline wise, it’s quite amazing how Cecilia Aherm may thought of. The main character’s death at the beginning of the story. Hmmm…

Anyway, if you’ve nothing to do, no harm watching it. But I would like to say that it’s not really a must-watch movie. Hee…

::kuanru:: signing off

Wish Granted

2009-09-03T13:39:00.003+08:00

One day, i wished for a DS for my birthday this year..

Today, the bf granted my wish.

I've got my DS, and I'm super loving it.

Thanks babeh!!!!

Haolian right? I'm humble already ok...

I wanted the one with white, but the bf said it will get dirty easily, so,

final decision. :D

That's it. End of the post.

I'm haolian-haolian-haolian-ing, choy meh? lalala... I'm happy, can can can??

!!!UOY EVOL I

::kuanru:: signing off

FB Games Evolution

2009-09-01T16:11:00.011+08:00

Have been a facebook member since Year 2 of my Uni life. It starts off quite boring, and the games are so lame. Let me see. The first game i played was, if i'm not mistaken, Fluff Friends. It was a hot during that time, whereby we pat each others pet, betting in a race..lalala... It looks something like this.

But it was different few years back

Then, new games came out.

And people started to play Pet Society,

and then, Restaurant City.

Then, Barn Buddy.

Then, there's Farmville, which is my mummy's love.

And today, i joined this application with cuter characters, Country Story.

I am so obsessed playing facebook games. And I guess alot of people are the same. Mummy once phoned me to help me look after her farm because she'll be away from home for 2 days. = =" and now, her level is higher than mine. Go mummy, go.

See, after years, the games get more interesting, and the graphic gets more real, and we become 'social butterfly' in the world of the games, agree?

Facebook, another real world.

::kuanru:: signing off

Childhood Friends

2009-09-01T14:36:00.007+08:00

There's one time, i went to my cousin's place, his son was watching Sesame Street. His son was at starting-to-learn-to-talk age. This little boy, likes to watch elmo, and he knows how to say L-mo, in a very cute way.

I heart Elmo!!

Sesame Street is my childhood friend.

Who doesn't know Sesame Street?

It was my favorite show on TV. Mummy used to tape record it so that we can watch repeatedly. I kinda made Bert and Earnie my imaginary friend *blush* Ooh, i love my mummy, always feeding us with varieties of nice kiddie shows during that time.

Sesame Street is still famous until now, although Ben-Q have somewhat win a lot of the boy's heart.

Here's some photos to recall back the memory, in case some of you have forgotten what Sesame Street is.

These were the cupcakes from Kenna.blogspot

How I wish I were 6 all the time.

This is still the best and my all-time education kiddie show i would say.

::kuanru:: signing off

Can't they just do-it-yourself?

2009-08-28T11:07:00.003+08:00

Please allow me to rant a little, thank you. You can just close this window if you are not prepare to read an angry post. ><

Everything need people to prepare for..

Don't show your stupid innocent face, and say 'I DON'T KNOW',
if you don't know, you expect others to know?
Find it out yourself, ok.
Google is enough for you.
Know how to use google to find out which artist's dead and which artist's born, but don't know how to use google to find out what you want.

Walao@, how old dy, ok..

The End.

Y they just can't learn?

::kuanru:: signing off

Define F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

2009-08-27T16:12:00.003+08:00

Looking back photos during secondary school, Form 1 to Form 6, memories were still fresh in mind. I still remember which class I was during Form 1, who were my classmates.

And then, as I flipped through, I saw photos taken during kindergarten, and then I realized, Form 1 was 10 years away, and Kindergarten was almost 15 years away.

Oh my goodness, than I flipped more, I reached a picture of me wearing a mortar board with graduation robe, stated there 2009, taken 3 weeks back.

I’ve come this far. I’ve almost reached a quarter of my life.

Back then, friends, were as easy as ABC during kindergarten. As we grew older, it was not just ‘I want to be-friend with u’, or ‘I don’t want to be-friend with u’. In the meantime, the definition of friendship changed. From someone to play with, to someone to be used.

It was rather sad to accept this reality that, we are not that lucky to meet a sincere friend every step we go.

Although I’ve met some real friends, and some fake ones too, but, I’m lucky there’s still someone whom I trusted, whom I can share problems with. They were indeed friends for life.

Friends. How pathetic…

::kuanru:: signing off

Job Hunting

2009-08-24T13:20:00.002+08:00

Job hunt!!

Job hunt!!

Job hunt!!

Is there any job that fulfill these criteria?

Part time with flexible time
Easy access to public transport
That interest me

I'm really, really interested in a few jobs, but too bad, the location is either too far, or there will be no public transport to take me there. How i wish i had a car NOW!!!! I don't care whether it's SLK or not, as long as i can reach there easily.

My experience through my internship.
Location: OUG, Old Klang Road
By public transport: 2 hours
By car : 10-15 minutes

See? See how inefficient our public transport is?

The opportunity just slip through between my fingers. *sigh*

If I were rich enough... if

::kuanru:: signing off

Being an elite

2009-08-23T14:00:00.006+08:00

What is it like to be on the tip of the triangle?

FYI, upper part of the triangle are the ELITES, and bottom part of the triangle are the LABORS

I’m curious. Millions and millions of people were trying hard to get to the tip of the triangle, or trying to be at least among the upper part of the triangle. Being a social butterfly, being in clubs and societies, carry LV or Loewe, Burberry or Blackberry, speaking ‘fluently’ in Eng-e-lishy, trying to look like English educated even tho they are not.….

Tsk tsk tsk…

They were trying to look like him....

or her...

Why do you have to ‘look’ rich, instead of ‘being’ rich? U look rich outside, but u’re so poor inside. Too many, I’ve seen too many this ‘kind’ of people. They just twist and turn around you.

For example, “Let’s go eat mamak!” “Mamak? Dun1 la, why not go Coffee Bean instead” Duh….Guess who’s trying to look rich here. See? I don’t mind if you’re rich yourself, but if you’re not, please don’t try to be one.

It gets annoying sometimes, and it gets even frustrated when people starts to compare YOU with THEM. Why can’t people just BE THEMSELVES?

No offends. But I’m too tired of it. I don’t mind being as normal as possible, as ordinary as possible, as long as, I know what makes me happy. It definitely makes me happy to yumcha at mamak with roti canai and tehtarik, instead of Frappucino or Cappucino at Starbucks.

::kuanru:: signing off

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

2009-08-20T22:57:00.005+08:00

I've just finished this movie.

okok, i'm slow i'm slow. So? It’s been in my laptop for months, and I’ve watched half of it few months back. But it’s too long, and it’s quite boring at the beginning, until Brad Pitt appears. He is so charming!!

What touches me is how Benjamin goes all his way till the end of his life, alone. As people grew older, he goes the other way round. And in the end, dies in his lover’s arm. I don't think there will be a person who truly understands him. Although his chapters of life were written with wonderful experiences, travels around the world, but he is still, alone.

Some people might have give up hope knowing that they are different from others, complaining they deserve better. Some, instead of complaining, work harder, to be like others.

I would not said that I recommend this movie or not, but if you have spare time, I mean much lot of extra time, you can watch it. The story is very fantastic, only a bit too slow. It’s 2 and a half hour.

“If you are born poor, it’s not your mistake. But if you die poor, it is you mistake”

::kuanru:: signing off

Welcome to the real world

2009-08-20T19:00:00.004+08:00

Last night, was chatting with a friend of mine, a lawyer-to-be, telling me how cruel and realistic the world is. Materialistic. Realistic. Individualistic. whatever-listic. This is how the real life we will be facing in the future. One step out of the university, and here you are, welcome to the real world. These are the people we are going to face for the rest of our life. It's no more university, school or nursery, where we're still more or less under protection. It's independent, totally independence we are talking about.

How many GENUINE friends will there be out there? or will there be any real friends? Of course, not all company are the same. Once u get use to the culture, fit into it, and u'll be fine, i guess. But, how ready am i to step into this world? Everybody have to face it, no matter who u are, it's only the matter of when and where.

Laziness won't make you stand out from the crowd, as well as being a peacock or being dependent. Capability? Perhaps. However, how much jealousy do u have to handle if you're more capable than the senior? How much rumors do you have to accept if u're having more complement than your colleagues? How tough do you need to put on your face, which you're actually very weak inside?

Friends around me are putting their feet down into this real world. Big companies, banks...And, what i love is to hang around with children. But, how far can that bring me? I wonder. To be successful, to have a BMW in future, to be able to buy things without looking at the price, still , i need to be able to manage all the evils and devils out there. Right?

That's it. I'm going to be the top of the world. Wish me luck...

End of my crap.

::kuanru:: signing off

my super randomness

2009-08-15T19:29:00.005+08:00

Here are my super random updates:

1. I've just discovered Subang Parade is another place to go besides Mid Valley, but still MidValley is still my FAVORITE spot. Malls that are too big is quite boring, say OneU.

2. Some of my convocation pictures. Thanks to the photo tagging in facebook. I'm super loving it. Anyone knows weather i can organize those tagged photos?

3. I'm out of dramas, and i'm AGAIN re-watch the old ones, for the second time, and some movies for the nth time, say Twilight. Oh, and i'm looking forward for New Moon.

4. I'm trying this "Barley and lemon with no sugar". I would say that it's tasteless but smell nice. :)

- The End- of my super random post.

::kuanru:: signing off

walao@, beh tahan...

2009-08-15T03:15:00.002+08:00

How come insomnia keep haunting me? What kept playing in my mind? I'm suppose to feel tired now. It's 3:19am, half of the world is sleeping, y am I not? I'm tired.. My eyes are shutting down. Once i switch off the lights, my eyes sprang wide open. Million of things kept playing inside my head..

1. Next Monday. I'm looking forward. Hopefully the one won't turn me down.
2. This Sunday.
3. Looking for things to do. I'm quite tired of the boring life now.
4. I'm worried about myself.

See? lots of worries...

I better shut my laptop down and force myself to bed.

Good night.

*wuliao post*

::kuanru:: signing off

~ you'll know it when you see this ~

2009-08-11T23:56:00.007+08:00

It's this season of the year again.

I love August, and i love this time of year, and should I say, i love autumn too? FYI, it's just spring and summer here..hmph. It's mooncake festival again!! which means, my birthday is around the corner!!! :) My birthday falls on the exact day of the mooncake festival last year, but it's not this year. But still, i love this season. Well, i don't know why, maybe it's because we use to gather around having mooncake parties when we were young. We have not been having this kind of party ever since god-knows-when.

I love mooncakes, especially with the egg yolk!! Double yolks is the best!! who can resist it? i know, some don't really like yolks, but who cares about the theory of colestrol and the maths of calories if it's so delicious, right? That's why i consistently fails my diet plan.

Remembered last year, mummy was so kind to have collected a tupperware of only-yolks-without-lotus for me. I love mooncake with yolks, and i used to save the yolks for the last. I don't mind eating the yolks without lotus, it still satisfy me anyway.

Although mooncake festival falls on october 3rd this year, i've started eating mooncake. And again, thanks to mummy for the mooncakes from Tai Tong!
Tai Tong mooncake is not very sweet like other mooncakes i've tried before. Mooncake is always the best to go with cups of tea.

I'm so gonna celebrate mooncake festival this year!! It's 3/10. Remember!!!!!!

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Convocation.. ~

2009-08-11T16:43:00.006+08:00

Graduation mood is officially turned off.

I’ve been busy preparing for this big day, as if it was my wedding day. First of all, getting my wedding gown (graduation robe), and the wedding veils (mortal board) from the bridal studio (UTAR). Next getting my wedding heels (black court shoes) and night gown (blazer and slack pants).

And… the big day had finally came. Big thanks with hugs and kisses for the fresh bouquet of flowers from papa and mummy all the way from Kota Bharu, another big hugs and kisses to my darling brothers and sisters who’ve made it to my convocation, and big big hugs and kisses to the bf who said he couldn’t made it at first but managed to make it at last, and also able to witnessed my moment on stage through live telecast. Love you guys to death…

The photographers and the emcees, the stage, which I’ve paid ‘professionals’ to deal with, the guest of honor, the guests, and all the brides and grooms (graduands), who had made my wedding (convocation) such a success.

Thanks..

Living in my own world once in a while doesn’t matter right? :D

Have been loving lilies for my entire life. I've got it from my mama.. Thanks mummy who've chosen carefully these bunch of varieties of flowers. I'm loving it. It's refreshing to see two bouquets of flowers set beside my bed the first thing i open my eyes. The fragrance of both lilies and roses filled the room, and makes my day so wonderful. This just indicates the love that i've received is more than enough.

Although fresh flowers won’t last long, but the meaning behind fills my precious moments with laughter and long last memories. I’m so touched to see everyone that I loved, and everyone who love me, trying to fulfill my every wish to make me happy, to make this day wonderful. I’d rather have red roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. I'm so blessed. I'm really are... I'm the most pampered girl on earth..!!!

Thank you, for loving me.

::kuanru:: signing off

~ It's Coming... ~

2009-08-06T14:27:00.003+08:00

2 more days to go...

Should i say a day that we've been waiting for for a very very long time? Never could I imagine myself walking up stage with a mortarboard on my head and a harry potter robe. This day is coming, very soon.. and surprisingly, i'm quite nervous and scared, in case what will happen on the stage especially.

Tomorrow, one day...

Day after tomorrow, is the day...

Good luck me, and Congratulations to whoever is graduating.. :)

"You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to your real life. Let me ask you to think for an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world" - Tom Brokaw

::kuanru:: signing off

~ i seriously need to do something to myself ~

2009-08-04T00:53:00.003+08:00

Went to MidValley just now to survey prices for black coat/blazer, slack pants, court shoes. This whole convocation thing will cause me a fortune if i want to buy everything brand new. It'll be around RM500++ if i want to get a nice black coat/blazer.

The worst thing is, i'm running out of RM. I seriously need to do something about this. The RM i'm getting now is not enough to buy myself a coat, or put it this way, if i buy myself a coat/blazer, i'll have nothing left. Rental, Daily expenses, transport, lalala....everything needs MONEY!!! how i wish i have a 'shake-off-money-plant'. I'm seriously broke..walawala...

And...

I planned for a diet two days ago. But i failed. I'm supposed to jog in the morning, and if not, swim in the evening, but end up, i've done nothing above. You see? Can someone please motivate me? i need some motivation here. I tried to keep my food portion small, but when something delicious is in front of me, i just can't resist.

My purse is getting thinner and thinner, but i'm getting fatter and fatter. I've so many things in mind to buy. po pi po pi, may god bless me with a more promising job, or win a lottery..and how i wish i've a little aneroxic, so that i've no interest in food.

Any part timer needed? i'm desperate!!

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Here's the thing.. ~

2009-08-03T16:09:00.004+08:00

The boyfriend asked me a question one day, 'Y do girls need to apply so many membership cards?'

Let me think, is it only GIRLS like to apply those membership or privilege cards? True enough, i've more cards compared to the boyfriend, but a boy friend of mine, too have lots of cards.

Well, let me see.

I have:
1. Jusco member card
2. Genting member card
3. MPH readers' circle

He has:
1. Padini member card
2. Genting member card
3. KimGary member card
4. Popular Card

Definitely he applies more cards than i do. Anyway, I'm planning to apply Padini membership card, it seems like it can be applied to Vincci as well, altho' i've kinda boycott Vincci. :D Xiaxue's blog advertised Watson's member card, (is it applicable to Malaysia?) and again, i wonder, will there be more men applying or will there be more women? But, basically, more women visit Watson right? or no?

My newly applied MPH Reader's Circle.

And also, women would love freebies and cheap stuff compared to men, true? or not? Because, i LOVE cheap stuff, and if it's free, i'll LOVE them to death!! :D

Please, men do voice out your opinion. I really need to know whether you guys apply membership or privilege cards and love freebies and cheap stuff? Thank you.

*well, credit cards are not consider membership or privilege cards*

More women applied membership or privilege cards than men?(trends)

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Yay, it's one year old ~

2009-08-01T18:42:00.002+08:00

One year old!!!!

Having some mix feelings. Happy, sad, desperate, dissapointed, blablabla...

i'm just so wuliao...

going to a steamboat buffet again!! hope it wasn't pack by the time i reach there.

chaoz..

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Keren Ann ~

2009-07-30T14:21:00.004+08:00

A friend of mine said to me one day, 'Hey, there's a singer Keren Ann, she's goooood', emphasizing 'good' with her smile on her chubby face. Who's Keren Ann? i asked. Never heard of before.

Immediately, i googled and youtubed her name. And i tell you, she's really good. Really really good.
Another singer with her own style. Very unique. Very talented. Very classic.
Her features are very outstanding, i would say, very pretty...

::kuanru:: signing off

~ I miss you ~

2009-07-29T03:11:00.006+08:00

3am. Alone. In a room. And, I miss you.

I know, I shouldn't. But, I can't help myself. Again!! Alot of time, i asked myself, 'why should i do this to myself?' No answer to this.

Once upon a time, u filled up my life with laughter and stories, u phoned everyday just to say hi, u told me that you're happy and proud upon my success, and u promised to make it once a week.

But, it's just months away. And, everything had changed. A drastic change.. We are not once we were anymore. Perhaps, we should be how we are back then. At the beginning. I've gone too far. I admit. It's clear that this is a dead end relationship. But again, i can't help myself. The memories are still fresh in mind. From day one we met each other.

Law of attraction had once worked. But it seems to had lost it's magical power. No matter how hard i've tried, it doesn't seems to work. My phone won't ring with your name appear on the screen anymore.

I've promised myself to let go, and I have to...

Pictures fade away, but memories are forever.

Dear God, please give me strength to move on...thank you!!

::kuanru:: signing off

~ My Favorite Things ~

2009-07-27T23:35:00.009+08:00

When the dog bites, When the bee stings,

When i'm feeling sad,

I simply remember my favorite things

and then I don't feeeeeeeeel,

sooooooo bad....

When I find myself in times of trouble,

Mother Mary comes to me

speaking words of wisdom
Let it Be...

Loves singing these two verses when i'm down and hopeless, which, really helps alot..

Remembered last weekend, me, mummy and my sister walked from Concorde Hotel to KLCC. Although it's just a 10 to 15 minutes of walk, i've been having sore heels. Heels are NOT walking shoes, even it's Scholl or Hush Puppies. Mummy always said, 'buy a pair of expensive good shoes is better than buying 10 pairs of bad shoes'. True enough, a nike shoes and a Scholl heels, that's all i need. No more Vincci, no more MOD, or whatever shoes that make my legs swell after hours of walking.

Back to the story. While i'm having sore heels, and so do mummy's, both of us decided to sing My Favorite Things from Sound of Music. Sound of Music is always our family's favorite movie. Each of us can memorize lines after lines. With our burning legs, I guess both of us have our favorite things in our mind. The rest of the walk back to the hotel is much more comfortable. Maybe the singing distract us from the pain. Psychology do works.. :)

I've been really miserable these few days. Even singing out loud to myself doesn't work. One day, a box of cupcakes set beside my bed after i wokeup. That makes the rest of my days much more happier. It's not those expensive cupcakes sold at The Curve tho', but i'm just loving it. He knows me the best.

Other things that i found which able to make me happy....

Sesame Street, childhood everyday-must-watch show. Loves Elmo so much, and the cookie monster is so cute. I miss Bert and Ernie, Big Bird, and the Sesame Street big family. How i wish i were 15 years younger, where there were no troubles to worry about.

Mr.Men LittleMiss have been my favorite recently. Have kept some little books from these series. I've wanted to buy the whole series from MPH warehouse sales the other day, but it cost 100 over bucks which is much over my budget, and i don't think i'll ever read it. Can't be deny that the drawings are really nice and cute, which will brighten up my days. Well, i guess having two Mr.Men LittleMiss tees from Bossini, and a Mr.Men LittleMiss tumbler is good enough. My new role model: Little Miss Sunshine!!! Yay!!!

I love cute things!!! Who doesn't????

::kuanru:: signing off

~ The Wedding ~

2009-07-23T22:45:00.012+08:00

Grand opening for my cousin's new chapter of life, her wedding! Congratulations!

Her wedding, from kb to kl, and takes four days. The bride is pretty, and really she is. I don't think not much of her photo here. She's busy like a bee on that day. And seriously, i need diet. Tsk....

Let the pictures do the talking..

Our family, although it's not complete in the picture, but the new couples have the blessing from everyone!!

The cousins and me

The cousins and me (i know, i'm already on a diet plan here, don't remind me of how round my face looks)

my pretty mummy, sister and cousin

The groupie

Isn't she pretty? *blush*

The pretty sister of mine

Everyone was pretty *big grin*. Everyone was happy. Congratulations again to the newly wed couple. :)

It's a love story...baby just say yes!!!!

The End.

This is something nothing to do with the above:
A friendly and stern reminder to the stupid theives out there. Awak akan dapat balasan awak daripada god awak. Fuck the theives who like to steal. Ohh, i forgot, theives love to steal, bo bian. Hell, go to hell you this people. GO TO HELL, FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!! #$%^& To others, please really take good care of your belongings. Don't think that the PENCURI can did nothing to your bank account because they don't know your password. FYI, they know. And how the hell they know, i don't know. Don't let people get any of your belongings, including IC or ATM cards.

The End.

::kuanru:: signing off

~ A Little Bit Of Something ~

2009-07-21T00:21:00.011+08:00

Haven't been feeling this great for quite awhile. Spending time with family is always my main concern in life. Let me think again, maybe there will be chaos with each other, or some shoutings here and there, but it’s still wonderful to be with them.

Someone asked me when I went back to my hometown, ‘why don’t you go out and yumcha with friends?’ or ‘why you always stay at home?’ or ‘why you always stick with your mummy?’, or I might heard from someone saying that I’ve no friends. Yea, I’ve anti-social personality disorder. Sob sob… why can’t I spend more time at home than outside from home? Why does that have to bother anyone? I don't understand. Spend hours and hours outside from home doesn’t show that you have lots of friends.

Lalala, I just love to stay at home, choy meh?
Lalala, I’m an introvert, choy meh?
Lalala, I love to stick with my mummy, choy meh?

Lalala, I'm not a social butterfly, choy meh?

Lalala, I've autism, choy meh?

Childish me. But I just love to be at home.

Random pics to cool myself down a little, however, I just think they lack of something, but obviously, I’m gaining something -- kgs.

World through cons, thumbs up

Fresh roses, who can resisit it?

an antique calculator? or what was that antique thingy?

Nasi lemak without nasi lemak, instead of nasi putih. *Jaya One Old Town, curse u*

The end of superly random pictures.

Lastly, I'm in love with Tess Stimson's novel *Big grin*

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Haih..~

2009-07-15T12:03:00.002+08:00

knowing that it has really reached to an end really hurts me alot. I don't know where it comes from, and i don't know what stimulates my tears glands, but i know, it hurts.

During the outings, everything was going along well like before, the smile, the jokes, the laugher, the touch, and the only thing lacking, is the passion. Knowing that everything is not going to be the same anymore makes me even weaker.

True enough, it's a long way to go, he said. But deep down inside me is crying for help, i shouldn't had end it. and now, life have to move on. He'll always had my blessings..always...

::kuanru:: signing off

~ I mean, Shhhh.... ~

2009-07-13T13:53:00.003+08:00

It's so annoying just by hearing your voice. I don't know why, perhaps is the hatred which have been unconsciously evolve since 20 plus years ago. There you are, unchanged, still the same old you. Some might said, it’s your style, and that, my friend, isn’t call uniqueness. Some might said, without the irritating sound of yours, it is not you. I agree. Why are you so irritating? I tried to respect you, I really do. Well, sometimes you’re so good to be true, which I think is to let others know how good you are, to show others the angelic side of you. But, it doesn’t work for me, or us, who’ve seen this show for n years.

I only can say that, there’s no perfect human being in this world.

You say it best, when you say nothing at all. And I mean really nothing.

Bye.

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Halitosis ~

2009-07-11T23:26:00.002+08:00

I’m now superly pissed off, if there’s other more powerful words to replace super? You’re welcome to give suggestions. Please allow me, mchcb@#$%^&...

*feeling better, thank you*

I have had enough with people who’ve halitosis (it’s a metaphor here), no offence. Halitosis, introduced by one of my former tutor, to describe one who’v'd bad mouth, who likes to humiliate others publicly or secretly. That’s what happened to me today, or in fact, always.

Okay, I need to know how to handle these people, no matter who they are, relatives, fiends, non friends, strangers or what so ever. FYI, my friends won’t humiliate. Parents and siblings won’t. Why should a stranger humiliates me, if they do, who cares???

I know, low education, and again, no offence here, is not an excuse. Some people just love to mix with the elites, and they should know the rules. Oops, I’m not an elite, that’s why. Now I know the reason.

I can’t slap them on their face or humiliates back or do anything impolite, can I? Is there any revenge in a polite way? Of course besides blogging it out, which doesn’t seems to be any polite?

I’m so pissed off with this kind of people. How long am I going to face them?

::kuanru:: signing off

2009-07-10T09:36:00.003+08:00

I've nothing to say, blogging is not a way to pour my feelings into anymore. I need to care who reads it, who feels it, who feels hurt after reading it, and those who feels it will start spreading rumours and cry their heart out pretending innocent, and me, will become the lion bullying a rabbit (catch the metophor).

Bla bla bla...i'm done..

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Leave Me Alone ~

2009-07-01T23:39:00.004+08:00

Suddenly, i feels like locking myself inside the closet.

As time pass, i feels the urge of tension coming towards me. I've been asking myself endlessly, 'ok, what next?'. It's July, i've been practically doing nothing for a month, besides those little stuff which i think useful. But after those 'useful' stuff, i'll be asking myself again, 'ok, what next?'.
Parents have been 'encouraging' me to do my postgrad at Australia. But the fee is not cheap compared to the locals. I know, the value of the cert is different. So? When people see certificate from Australia, like University of XXX, they will go 'oooh and ahhh', when people see certificate from Malaysia, like Universiti XXX (note the 'y' and 'i' of university), i think they'll just ignore although both of them were certified Master Degree. Agree?

That's why.

I totally agree that it's better to have experience out there. I want to. I'm still young and lots of opportunity. But halo, the fee is 4 or 5 times more expensive than local U's, plus the loan i owe, the installment, with the salary of a fresh grad. You see...? My concern? Those uncles and aunties will say, why not go Aus? My daughter or my son, or whose daughter or whose son were studying there, they were good. But, that is Degree. See? They pay for once, and get a paper same level as mine, and people were bugging around. And now i realize, why people have chose twinning programme in the first place.

Okay, right now, I've decided, local U's that is. After one and a half year, get some working experience, do my PhD or another Master Degree oversea, or have a work or whatever there, for a year. Experience huh...makes me nuts.

Micheal Jackson's 'You're Not Alone' used to work on me, but now? not anymore. Guess he brings the song away from me together with him.

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Wonderful Weekends ~

2009-06-30T00:10:00.004+08:00

Frequently asked question to the boyfriend ‘what are we going to do this weekend?’ Almost every weekends, we have to crack our head on what to do together, unless I’m not around KL. *winks*

Time Square? (we’re there almost every Sundays)
Somewhere nearer like Mid Valley, One U, or….?? (too boring)
Park? (we don’t need a weekend to go to a park)
Genting? (har…..)

Genting – City of Entertainment that is. With a little presents from Genting to the Gemini boyfriend, one free room, 2 tickets to DREAMZ (I’ve been longing for that show ever since the team came to Malaysia), and free K-lunch or K-dinner at Be A Star, we did SAVE a lot.

It was a well-planned journey this time. The excited us (or the more excited boyfriend – everyone knows what to do at Genting beside the theme parks if it’s not casino, and the cool breeze counts too) made our moves at 7am. Tried cable car route this time, which I swear, I won’t be using cable car again next time, unless necessary, it will still be my last resort tho’. I don’t know where my height phobia came from. Reached around 9am. Get the DREAMZ ticket, wristbands, and off to the theme parks.

First stop – the Beryls’ Chocolate Wonderland.

I make myself feels like Alice, as in Alice in Wonderland. Imagine Alice in Wonderland, with colorful mushrooms and flowers, pots and pots of chocolate (of course made of stones). Colorful stuff makes people happy, agree? Taking picture is a must.

Sorry, only me in the picture, so bare with it, kay? *wink*. The boyfriend prefers to remain anonymous. *big grin*. There’s a varieties of chocolates from Beryls’, from white to dark. Who can resist it?

Next, thrill rides, Spinner, Pirate’s Ship (if that’s what it’s called), Rollercoaster. Mentioned above, height phobias. I screamed all the way for every thrill rides, wanting to get off immediately. Scary, and lots of fun at the same time. Pictures with parrots, just for fun. Clowns. Fun fare games, whereby you throw balls or darts to try your luck. Musical fountain in the evening. Walking around Outdoor Theme Park around 7 to 8 with the lights on is my first time experience. The experience during the night is different from the day. I swear. *wink*

At night, Indoor Theme Park of course. DREAMZ at 9pm. Excited, excited, excited. Great live bands, dances are well choreographed, white tigers, white lions, magic, acrobatic performances, etc. I didn’t manage to take any photos of the animals, it cost RM60 per shot which I think it’s quite expensive. For me, the white lion is rather skinny than imagined, as I can saw his ribs even from the back of The Pavilion. A must watch show.

Later that night, a visit to the world of reality - casino. A lot of ‘picture’ or ‘black jack’ (mostly uncle shouting), ‘triak, triak, triak’ (sound of the chips), ‘ding, ding, ding’ (sound of the bell). Like the k-drama All In. I love it went they say ‘card for banker, card for player’, or ‘no bet please’, or the way they say those ‘magical’ terms. Although I don’t gamble, and don’t care whether it’s Roulette Wheel or Black Jack, I still love going to Casino, observing those people possessed by the ‘evil’ of wealth and so-call-luck.

Next day, breakfast at Vietnam House. I’m not going to say that the food is perfect, but I did not expect it to be that good.

Highly recommend the coffee with milk, and the popiah. The popiah skin is very much different from the Malaysia popiah skin. Vietnamese popiah is more Q. There’s this sauce to go with that popiah.

This coffee is kao (thick) enough. Kopi Kao Kao…

Had this bowl of Gu Bak Mee (Beef noodles). It was just Okay… Behind that was the legendary popiah.

The boyfriend had this fried rice with 3 cute fried bird eggs on top. He finished the food before I remembered to take the photo. Guess he’s hungry.

Have some games at Genting Hotel before we head back to Kay Ell. It’s a must to win back something from Genting.

Won this big prize by the boyfriend's lucky hands. *Big Big Grin*

Thanks for the wonderful weekends. :D

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Connie Talbot ~

2009-06-27T22:14:00.002+08:00

As usual, when I’ve nothing to do, I do really wuliao stuff. I search for Connie Talbot from youtube.

Load the videos and hear her sings. She’s a god’s gift, to her parents and to the world.

8 year old singer. Sings like an angel, so pure and beautiful. It touches my heart and makes me cry everytime I hear her sing ‘somewhere over the rainbow’ and ‘you raise me up’. She’s so adorable. Look at her smile. Oh my goodness. An innocent one. Full with hope.

The audience were totally silence just to listen to every word she sings. I love her. I really do… Thumbs up to Connie Talbot.

Do they sell her album in Malaysia?

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Super Long Post When I've Nothing To Do ~

2009-06-27T17:23:00.004+08:00

When was the last time I shopped? I mean really shop instead of window shopping. But always there’s this problem. Use what to shop? If only hairs have value….
How some people can just shop and buy all the things they want without working? Where did their moneh came from anyway?
Baju from Topshop (which I thought the clothes is quite cheap at first, like RM20 or RM50 per baju, but once I enter the shop, I would never go in again, it’s like over RM100 for every piece of clothes is it?), cosmetics from MAC, bags from branded designers like LV, Coach, Burberry, you name it….

Branded stuff? I never own one. Besides the birthday present I get from mummy last year. I guess it’s the present accumulated for many many years. We don’t have surprises anymore, but we still get their wishes tho’, right? *wink* they are giving us presents everyday, ever since we were born. *hugz*

There’s this LV bag I’ve been carrying around KL, from Mid Valley to mamak, and to the pasar to buy sayur. From wearing heels to flip-flops. It’s not because it’s LV and I don’t care if it’s real or fake, it’s because I don’t have many bags. People who know me knows that I’m not that girly girly type. I don’t put makeups, and I’m complete idiot in that part. My mum always says, ‘can’t you act more like a girl?’ ‘This is what we called natural beauty’ I replied.

tadaa.....

*My LV, who cares if it’s AA or not, I love her anyway*

I found this bag unwanted at my house which my mum was readily to send her out. When I saw it, I said ‘so beautiful, you don’t want arr..?’. Then her replied is ‘you want arr, you take loh.’ She said she has been asking everyone in the family, including relatives, who wants this bag. But nobody wants. One of the relatives look at this bag and ask my mum, ‘Real one or not..’, then just put aside. So this bag was found lying together with the pile of unwanted clothes. Kesian…

There’s one time I bring this darling to MidValley for a gathering. And mind u, I’m wearing tee and jeans, and as usual, flipflops, I’m more comfortable with flipflops than heels. It’s baggy and saggy I know. I always wonder how people go shopping with heels, don’t the killer heels hurt their sole after the walking?

Then, this buddy friend of mine keep looking at my bag, and said ‘LV wor..’. Then my reply was ‘so..?’ He said ‘you wear like that and carry a LV bag, even if you’re carry a real thing, people will think that you’re carry an AA LV..’ Aiya, who cares… I don’t even care whether it’s AA or not.

Aiya, what’s the big deal with branded designs? Not all of them are pretty. What if it’s a real branded stuff but you don’t even like the design or it doesn’t suits you, will you still take it if people offer you for free?

A: B, you want onot this bag. It’s new. My friend gave me during my birthday, but I never used it before.
B: *OS: don’t know what brand also, maybe from pasar malam* (don’t even look at the bag) No, thank you. I don’t think it suits me.
A: Oh, too bad. It’s Channel. Maybe I should give it to someone else. I don’t really like it.
B: Wah, Channel. *faster grab it* if you don’t want you can give me.. *big grin*

You see? A lot people are like B.. Pathetic right…

Friends around me have been spending hundreds on cosmetics. I’ve been spending hundreds on novels which some of them I only read once. Collecting novels might be like collecting different shades of eyeshadows or nail polish for them. But I’m loving with my collections.

The End

Fuh..Long post.. this only happen when I’ve nothing to do..

Have a nice day

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Insomnia ~

2009-06-27T04:57:00.002+08:00

0500 sharp.

What am i doing?

I should be in my dreaming about Edward Cullen at this hour.

But i'm wide awake. Physically tired, but mentally not.

I've tried, very hard. Two books added into my shelf and collections of novels from MPH today. Once i've started reading, i can't stop. I guess it's the story that kept me awake.

I've gotta get back to sleep, better before the singing from the mosque starts. *oops, am i suppose to say that?*

Nitez world..

::kuanru:: signing off

~ I'm growing mushrooms.. ~

2009-06-25T22:23:00.003+08:00

Do you know what i do when i'm really, really bored? and the connection is like snail...?

Here's some of the things that i can do..

1. Refresh facebook every 5 minutes

2. Re-watch movies found in my laptop

3. Reorganize the files in my latop

4. Clean my bedroom. Amazingly, tidying rooms really makes time move faster

5. Refresh facebook again

6. Sort out those clothes that i cannot wear or don't want to wear anymore

7. Wash the pile of clothes unil they are CLEAN!!!

8. Read the magazines that have been read...

I'm even lazy to think of what to add on to the list. See? My brain has not been functioning properly for almost a month.

Notice lot of good reviews on Transformer 2. Should watch it. But i don't really like robots. Since lot of them says it's nice, so i think i've to watch it.. :x then i won't have belated remorse again right? yes...

Anyway, have watched DaVinci Code..for the second time. hee... *saja wuliao*

It's time for Twilight again. Chaoz...

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Twilight ~

2009-06-23T04:56:00.006+08:00

Watched Twilight two days ago. I know, how outdated i am. Tell you, it's a must watch movie.

My sis have been crazy about this movie and claimed to have watched it for n times. She can memorized those lines from the movie, downloaded the Twilight SAGA e-books and read it through her "super" IBM laptop, discussing the story with my brother and what i can do is to pretend not to listen. At last, i've watched it. Yay!! Awesome.. A love story of a vampire and a human.

And again, i feel like singing "it's a love story, baby just say...yes" :)

Edward Cullen (starring Robert Pattinson), is so so cute!! Don't believe me?

Dating on a treetop is so romantic :x

See? I won't tell lies. =) Sunken eyes...yay..

Got to go. Two post in a row..what the....

Argh.. gastric cramp.. if that's what it calls in english. Really gives me alot of sleepless nights.

Chaoz..

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Blissful... ~

2009-06-22T15:36:00.007+08:00

Having gastric pain for whole night. Haven't experience such pain in my life before. Luckily, there's always someone i can count on, 24-7 on call, no matter where and when, and what he's doing. *big grin* He's there for me through the night, cracking jokes, telling stories, whatever shit topic i come out with, he's ready to listen. Thank god it's a sunday the next day.

Have been living without internet connections. Without internet, life really sucks...
What to do, what to do...

Finished a novel. Freya North's Secret. Ok, u see, 4 novels in 3 weeks. It's so un-me. Cecelia Aherm, Freya North, Nicholas Sparks. Haven't been going through novel days for a long time. Freya North's Secret is good. Can't get my hand off the books. Spending 2 days, 2 whole evening reading it. Nice... And i love the cover of this book, my favourite shade of pink. :)

Other than that, nothing much happen.. Too sad...

::kuanru:: signing off

~ I'm off ~

2009-06-21T14:19:00.001+08:00

Will be off for a few days until i get my internet connection back...

Feels like singing "it's a love story, baby just say.. yes..."

Chaoz.. :)

::kuanru:: signing off

~ When I've Nothing To Do ~

2009-05-31T12:04:00.002+08:00

I really am so free that i seriously think that i need to find something to do. But, i'm just lazy to step out of my house and away from my laptop. What to do?

Have been watching Emergency Unit this few days. I'm abit outdated, i know. The drama is really good, no wonder people are talking about it. I'm so emotional during the whole 30 episodes. Hate, Tears, Joy.... I hate Laughing (one of the character in the drama for those who haven't watch) in the beginning, and in the end got to know that he was actually a spy and died. Arghh.... This is what life is...

Novels, novels and novels again.. It's super enjoing to just lay down like a dead body reading novels. Haven't been really passing through the novels time for n years. At last, more novels into my shelves. Regretted for not buying more during the MPH warehouse sales. Pay Less Book store is not really selling their second hand books any cheaper.
Current novel: Thanks for the Memories by Cecelia Aherm

Walks. Love to see people hanging around Bukit Bintang. Last night was wonderful. Two bossini tees again. 70% sales. One of the reasons why i love walking around KL is, they have whole year sales. I tink. Love cheap stuffs so much!! Another favourite place to walk, a park opposite Amcorp Mall. Nice....

Trips. Looking forward for trips, trips and more trips.....

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Anything Will Do ~

2009-05-19T16:15:00.003+08:00

Have finished reading P.S. I Love You, finally. It was not bad after all. Despite the boring starts off of the story, it turns out to be pretty interesting as it goes towards the end. I can't get my hands off that book as i read through it.

Anyway, it's time for the packing-into-boxes time. Things are laying everywhere on the floor. Pack pack pack. I wonder how my mum does most of the packing all by herself. Mum, is always mum, the superwoman.. :D

Another thing is, i'm stressed out with the attitude of somebody. Childish. I'm not going into details as that somebody is superly annoying and will be going around saying and spreading people's bad. So, that's it. I'm just wondering how can somebody being nice with you this second, and backstabbed you in the next sec. This is the complicated part of a human being, i guess. Better leave those backstabber and also faker alone than to be sorry for myself.

That's all. Result's releasing soon. I'm scared....

::kuanru:: signing off

~ I'm So Sorry For Myself ~

2009-05-16T10:21:00.004+08:00

Here goes:

Went to chow kit last night. You may ask Why, but i tell you, just for the sake to check out what is it like. Chow kit really is a red spot. The girls are really hot, and i don't think they wear bras, do they? Some of them were not pure girls, you know what i mean, but they have a much more slimmer and slender body than me.

Anyway, that's not the point, the point is, there were lorries selling tonnes and tonnes of durians. Mind you, it's DURIAN!! my favourite fruit. Who can ever resist a durian? Who? The smell is so nice until it makes my mind fresh. I know, high cholestrol, but i haven't been eating durian for like months. I miss durian so much. If there's a budu in front of me right now, it will be puuurfect!

We bought one and went home to have a sort of durian party. The colour of the meat of the durian is yellowish, very yellowish, and it have the looks that it have to be sweet. First bite, erm, it was not that sweet, just ok. But the beauty part of this durian is, the more you eat, the sweeter.

I have three of them. And mind you, it was 10pm. After eating, i'm really really full. Then, my mind started to do the calculation.

1 biji = 3 mankuk nasi

3 biji = 6 mangkuk nasi

Shit, i just have 6 bowls of rice (Cholestrol) at 10pm. What time can i sleep? I'm so sory for myself. I promise, no more next time. NEVER... and i seriously think that i need to do something about myself. I'm gaining weight each day. SHIT...

Let's go swimming, jom...

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Long Holidayz ~

2009-05-15T00:15:00.005+08:00

What i did during this long holiday??? It's been a week. I've done nothing for a week.. Not to say totally nothing, but, besides looking for part time jobs in newspaper and some further studies procedures, i've done some 'meaningful' things too alright?

Like....

P.S. I Love You

which i think was not as good as what i've expected. I thought this was some very dramatic novel which will makes me cry... So far, I think only one book managed to make me cry, 'Message In The Bottle', by Nicholas Sparks. Thinking back, i don't really know what stimulate my tear glands. When i read it for the second time, i felt nothing. Same goes to P.S.I Love You. The beginning part of the story was rather sad, where the husband died, but it started off too soon. I haven't even develop the feelings towards the husband before he dies. I haven't finish it tho', but i think the whole story was about how Holly get on with her life without her husband. Sorry to say so, it's quite boring for me. Belated remorse to have bought this book. The title was sweet, so does the cover of the book. :)

Anyway, I bought it at MPH warehouse sales.

Hongkees..Movies...

I'm a typical crouch potato, YES I AM. I know, my weight has been going up hill. Argh...sitting infront of my laptop every morning once i open my eyes, dramas, movies. 4 dramas, 10 movies. see? I can't say no to dramas ok? Reachable snacks in one hand, one chair infront of me to rest my legs, don't even bother what time and what day is it.. Can u imagine how life is? My room is still a mess... Drama first, don't care, 1 down, 3 more to go.. Let me rest ok.. I've been exhausted for the past 'n' weeks

DRAMA-THON

Jobs...Uni...

I seriously need a part time job. I'm broke to death. After graduation trip i guess, i seriously have to start my job hunt.
University, Master... Aiyo~~how arr? Don't feel like continue studying so soon. But, how?? Some courses in mind, but i po pi po pi everything will be fine.. sun sun li li...

Thats all..

::kuanru:: signing off

~ Happy Mother's Day ~

2009-05-11T12:49:00.002+08:00

Happy Mother's Day to every mummy in the world, especially to my beautiful mummy.

It's quite sad not to celebrate Mother's Day with her this year. Uh, we haven't been celebrating any events together, i mean the whole family, for quite a really long time. We used to go out for some dinner during Mother's Day, make cards, etc. But not this year. Wonder how my mum go through this day without her children beside her? Besides the warm wishes from her children, i guess she's having dinner with my dad? Is it? or just ignore this day that is?

Everyday is Mother's Day.. Love my mummy so much, coz she is the best mum EVA!!!! When i say EVA means EVA...

I love my mummy!!!! and my daddy of course... :)

::kuanru:: signing off