prayers for my folks.

I can't help myself. my tears start streaming down again whenever I think about this.

they have been wonderful. always. they taught us to be kind, they taught us to be loving and caring, to forgive, they, always gave us the best, seriously, the best. They have been thoughtful, not only to us, but to others. They taught us to be kind to those who weren't kind to us. To love our enemy.

We are what we are today, because of them.

I regretted being rude when i was young. Thinking back, i slap myself hard. They never let us down. They tried to fulfill our needs. I still remember my dad staying up late just to help me finish up my homework, while i'm sleeping soundly. I remembered my mum rushing back and forth from work just to send me for tuition, without complaining of tiredness.

They are the kindest human being on earth. They never fight back. They love peace.

Dear God, you see it, don't you? You know it, don't you? But why? Seriously, i don't get it.

Karma? We were good, don't we?

Why do we need to go through this? Why do they need to go through this? It isn't that fair, right?

Dear God, we are trying to accept it. We really are. If this is Your will. Please be with us throughout and guide our steps. Please help my dad, he's going through a tough time, please give my mum strength to carry on. Please lead us, protect us. Thank you.

::kuanru:: signing off

Belated New Year Post

I've totally forgotten about a new year post for this year.

This year, nope, should be last year, 2010, ends rather awkwardly. Unlike how i used to celebrate new year, with fireworks at least, but 2010 ends, i would say, uniquely from previous years, from how i used to celebrate. But, being with the 1095 'cabin crew' is more than enough for me.

They are just so sweet.. : )

Usually we kinda review what we've done throughout the year. I'd like to make a record for myself too. Let's see:

1. I've started postgraduate program. If you ask me how it goes, well, my answer will be: feels like giving up, but still, hanging there/ better don't ask.

2. Got my first weekend job, which makes me feel time flies, rather than sitting there, listening to the ticking of the clock. At least, i manage to support myself, while, studying. (haha, say that i'm haolian, i don't care, otherwise some people will think that i further my study so that i can be lazy for a few years). = ="

3. -None- How empty.....

I told my mum, 'I gain nutin this year' on the last day of 2010. Pathetic.... If you ask me any 'resolution' this year, i have NONE. Again, pathetic...

But...

I still hope that 2011 is a better year, a lot more better...

Happy new year!!! Cheers...

::kuanru:: signing off

Two Way Street

Relationship is a two way street. You don't expect people always, and everytime, be there, when you shouted their name three times, either loud or in your heart. You don't expect them to appear infront of you, response to your call, sms-es, or worst still, msn, QQ, Facebook chat, whatever, immediately when you 'needed' them the most.

At the same time, when you're having good times, do you think about these people whom you wanted them to be infront of you immediately when you're in trouble? Do you think of them when you're on cloud 9? Do you ever call their names three times, either loud or in your heart when you're having great time?

I'm not just talking about love relationship here, it can be friendship, it can be family relationship, whatever it is, as long as you call that a relationship, it should be TWO-WAY. You give, and they give back. You don't expect others to give, and you're just keeping without giving back.

Understanding is a two way street. As far as relationship is concern, both ends have to work hard for it, instead of JUST be the receiving end.

::kuanru:: signing off.

I can't believe one day i've to go through DABDA situation. I really don't. Not this time. I pray to God, i keep them in my prayers, every prayers, but...

If it's God's will, please tell me what He wants us to do. If it's a karma, please tell me what i've done wrong.

Never had been so tough in my life. Or He wants me to grow up? He wants me to think matured-ly. Going through this is really not easy. The road infront is not easy anymore. Not anymore.

I just hope that, it don't get worst...this is my last bargain to God. I accept your will, but i hope you can guide me through it. I still believe that you close the door, somewhere, you open the window.

::kuangu:: signing off

Excuses....Nah...

I'm tired of people giving excuses all the time. They give reasons for their fault. The fault only they're clear of what it is.

For instance, the one faced when doing group assignment,
A: Which part do you wanna do?
B: Anything. You pick for me, and i'll do.
A: Then you do XXX then.
B: XXX? I don't know how to do

WTF! Ask you to choose you don't want to choose. When assigned, you said you don't know. Familiar?

Example #2:
A: Why you get lesser projects nowadays?
B: (the reason can bemany) Because the other girl is prettier/ Because I have no time for more projects

See? Instead of, maybe she did better than me, the fingers are pointing out.

Example #3:
A: Why you didn't practice this week?
B: I've got a lot of homework/ My mummy didn't ask me to practice/ I've got exam.

Great. Excuses were given even during young age.

Why can't people just face the fact, and stop giving excuses? If you didn't get what you want, ask yourself if you've tried hard enough, instead of giving excuses for your own mistake, true?

Stop giving me excuses so that to make you think that you'rer still an angel. I doubt...

::kuanru:: signing off

secrets...

so many things in me that i really feel like pouring it out. i need someone to talk to.



lots of them would say, 'you can tell me everything', but, i doubt. I doubt whether they're sincere enough to listen to me? or are they sincere enough to help me? because i can't find empathy or genuineness in them.

i knew of someone whom i can really talk to, whom i can rely on, but this secret is about that someone that i couldn't talk to. Because it hurts.

i don't even know how to confess to my dear diary, i don't know where to start.



i guess, the only one i can talk to is my secret bear, lying beside me, be there with me through laughter and tears... : ) he knows everything, and i mean, everything.

::kuanru:: signing off

More cards...

i remember i did a blog post about membership cards before, i think last year. That was when I first sign up for mph membership card, followed by Isetan membership card. Alright, now my wallet has no more holders to hold anymore cards. There are still some member cards coming in after that. Full of cards, but not credit cards.

Yet, yesterday, i still sign up for the Watsons membership card.

Why?

First impression...
Does this looks exclusive? No? WATSONS PASSPORT

But it does looks exclusive to me. It comes with these welcome pack.

and.....

a stack of vouchers...

See?

Of course, plus all the benefits like...

• 2x points on Watsons brands
• 5x points for birthday rewards (i'm late, i sign it up one day after my birthday, shit)
• Watsons exclusive promo and events

But all in all, i just love the card. : )

I think, collecting membership cards will be my hobby for the rest of my life, as how i collect phone cards when i was young. : )

::kuanru:: signing off